Connections

WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN’T READ ANY OF MY PREVIOUS POSTS, YOU WON’T GET THIS POST SO GO BACK AND READ SOME PRIOR ONES TO UNDERSTAND 

 

Not a lot has been happening since I last posted. 

Yesterday I spent the whole day alone, doing literally nothing productive, downloading songs onto my Apple device and something else I can’t mention because it would be too revealing of my character, but Hollister Model called me via Messenger randomly yesterday, five minutes before he was due to go to work. 

He obviously needed someone just randomly to talk to while walking to work, and I was online. But I’d like to think he called because he wanted to talk to me specifically. 

Of course, I’m fooling myself. 

Theres this girl that I’m chatting with more and more everyday who I only know through Facebook, but coincidentally lives like 2 or 3 hours at the very most away from me. 

I added her from a lesbian/bisexual Facebook group about 10 months ago when I was really embracing the side of me that is attracted to girls and we never really talked that often, but about a week or two ago, I live streamed on Facebook, she watched it and decided she wanted to talk to me. 

I think she has a crush on me because she’s always calling me pretty (and not in a complimentary or the way girls say something nice about another girl out of longing but in a “I’m attracted to you” kind of way) but than again I was dead wrong about Hollister Model so…

Speaking of him, today I was busy with something for a few hours (again, I’m not going to say because it will reveal my character more then I wish to show on this particular site, especially when I’m pouring my heart out and being super honest in other ways) so I didn’t think about texting him constantly. And besides, he worked from 12 to 7 today so I knew he wouldn’t be available to text until at least 7.

When I got home, I talked on the phone (Messenger) with the girl I was just talking about (does anyone have a nickname for her? I’m not good with especially clever nicknames) and then took a nap. 

I woke up super anxious and depressed and really wanted to go hang out with someone, but I was scared to ask Hollister Model because I didn’t want to seem desperate or whatever. You know?

Turns out, my former best friend came to my rescue for the first time in a long while. 

Out of literally nowhere, she asked me to go swimming with her and her grandma (who fucking loves me for some reason, but she’s also super crazy so that explains that) and I, of course, said yes. Anything to keep my mind off him. 

It was super weird to be hanging out with this girl again, even though we have been best friends for about 3 and a half years now. We used to do everything together. 

But certain things have pulled us away from each other, and even though we still hold a very important role in each others lives, we probably will never be the way we were before. Which makes me super sad, but I don’t feel like getting into it anymore. 

We sat in the hot tub the majority of the time and talked about a few things but basically it was just a casual thing. Her grandma was such a mood lighter, its incredible. 

Sometime before I arrived home from the pool and after I got out of the hot tub to change back into normal clothes, I asked Hollister Model to hang out tomorrow (actually i asked what time he worked until but we all know what i was asking) and he told me he didn’t work at all but was gonna be busy with homework. 

Which might actually be true since he has been gone from school for an obscene amount of time (because of the car accident and the fact that he cant lift heavy objects and thats a problem with how many god damn books the school makes us have) but it could also be an excuse. 

We’ve been off and on talking all through the night, just small talk. 

Not much. 

 

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