Last night

So last night i sat down to watch one of my kind of movies. “Me Before You” it was such a beautiful & sad movie. Its about a young man that has everything & one day everything changes. A fun loving girl shows up to his life. Hr tries to change his mind about his decisions & tries giving her all the happiness she can, but he does the same right back. They fall in love. 

All this movie did was think of my Love. Then i start feeling sad. Sab because the love i see in movies i want for myself. I know they are all fake. They are just stories but to me they are not. Their love stories. & Thats all i want to be loved back with the same passion. It also makes me feel so sad because i have my boyfriend here. He knows how bored i am with my life that now a days he tries to keep me happy & distracted. I can tell he is seeing me. What i mean by that is i see how he loves me now. & He just dont like seeing me like this because he feels something down inside him isnt right with me. 

Buy what do i do? 

These feelings for my love are just to strong. I wake up in the morning & all i wake up thinking about is him. & Trying to message him & not being able to makes me sad, confused! This is what is making me just what to follow him & be in his arms. Because my heart alredy is where he is at.. I sware if you have ever been in love you understand me. Im in the bathroom typing my feeligs out looking at myself thinking so hard what to do. I really wish my life was easier. But the complicated person i am brought me here. My decisions did. Please think very hard before you act upon anything. If you have one little douby big or small dony do it. That was me. I knew i would regret this part of my life one day. & Here i am. Trying to fix my errors. But im clueless. Im just here standing in my restroom typing, thinking of what i should do & how. & Should i? 

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