Well hello diary, today agiain like everyday i have lots of things spinning in my mind.. i havent heard from my love since Wednesday & i miss him likr crazy!! I hate the idea of him being out their with someone else instead of me… I hate it!! But..
What do i do?
How do i tell my boyfriend, the person i have been with for the past years that i cant be with him anymore?? That i am not in love with him.. that my feelings have changed & that i dont see him in my future anymore!! Just how? I care about him deeply.. i dont want to hurt him. We were in this relationship at seperate times.. i was committed. I was very committed. Now he is the committed one. I was deeply in love. I did everything for him.. i put my all. Now i am not! But how do i tell him??
Ive always been a hopeless romantic. & I want to see for my own damn self. I want love, happiness. All that keeps running through my head is my daughter.. will her father watch over her? Will he be a good father or will he be the father that dont try to be around? I dont want to be the person that causes pain in my daughter’s heart. I just cant. I dont want to hurt her.
What do i do?
Should i run to the arms of the person i love? Or should i stay & be here for her(my daughter)? In my head i want to run away each time he does something to get me upset. He can never do something for me. Well thats the way i have always seen it. Do i just want more? I see that he tries alot to keep me happy.. but my heart & mind are always somewhere else. Im always thinking of my love hes constantly in my mind. Is he ok? How is he doing? Can i see him? Is he thinking of me? Sigh. . I love him my heart skips a beat for him. I don’t know what to do.. i just dont.