Journal Day 35

Today I started off with my vision as the first priority. I had a really good 8 hours or so at night, which is more than usual, which is kinda sad. I wanted to drive down to the office and adjust my workstation so that it would be better suited for my eyes. I packed up my things and headed out.

The drive to the office was pretty quick, it was the weekend so the roads were empty, and took around 10-15 minutes to get there. Upon arrival I put away one of the two monitors I had, because I didn’t need two of them, and I put it on the desk of the IT guy. I closed all the window blinds behind me because it was so freaking bright. No wonder my eyes hurt while I’m sitting at the office, but still, even after I closed all the blinds it was still way too bright.

I brought in an external keyboard so I could be a little bit further away from the monitors. Honestly, this barely helped because again, the windows behind me were still far too bright and it affected everything I did. I’d be a lot more productive if I didn’t have this vision problem looming over me.

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I then started writing Day 34’s journal entry, and that’s what worked on for a couple of hours. It was mostly a compilation of different thoughts and ideas I had regarding vision improvement and preservation, ideas formed through reading the “Rx for Computer Eyes” book on the subject.

In the middle of writing my Day 34’s journal entry, I wanted to reply to Observant Bystander’s email she sent last night. She sent a pretty short email, but I replied with a longer more intimate message. I basically told her that our friendship should help us live meaningful and fulfilling lives and encouraged her to put her tasks / goals into our status sheet. 

I went back to writing Day 34’s journal entry and a few minutes in I got a reply. She responded pretty cheerfully, agreeing that we should support each other, and that she was glad I was helping her. I read it a few times because it was such a kindly written email. I felt pretty peaceful and warm after reading it, especially when she mentioned that she cared about me and how well I was doing. It was empowering.

I continued writing and finished Day 34’s entry. Afterwards I published an article entitled: “Is vision improvement possible?”, which was mostly just my journal entry minus things I actually did that day. Then I left the office to go back to the car, it was freezing outside so I power walked. The drive home was normal, again very little traffic because it was a weekend. Driving is weird, sometimes I don’t remember driving even though it definitely happened.

When I got back home I rested for a while, lying down for a few minutes. After that I decided to go and walk outside without any glasses or contacts to both exercise my vision and exercise my body. I listened to some educational audiobooks during the walk. I didn’t even complete 1/10th of my route before heading back. It was freezing outside, and this jogger wearing nothing but a shirt and shorts jogged passed me, and I couldn’t help but think “Why am I not jogging?” as I slowly walked on. On my way back I encountered a few other people, sometimes I’d think I was seeing double, but then it turns out there were two people walking side by side. I wanted to go back home to change to a jogging suit.

When I got back home I again lied down and rested for a few minutes. Then I turned on my computer and noticed that Obs had added some tasks to the status sheet. I started organizing my status sheet tab more and put it into a format that actually made sense, the “Phase” thing was kinda stupid. I organized my tasks into months and weeks now, inside each month are weeks, and inside of each week are tasks to be done that week. As long as those tasks are completed, then nothing else really matters.

I also added a goals tab so both Obs and I could add our goals to it. I added what I wanted to accomplish, which were pretty simple and normal goals. I didn’t want to put anything hard yet, I just wanted to do the easy stuff first. They’re easy goals because they’re pretty straightforward, anybody could accomplish them. But again, I needed to do these first before even dreaming of working on anything harder.

Afterwards I changed into a jogging suit and I went outside to run. It was freezing cold. So freaking cold outside. I ran for maybe an hour or so without any glasses or contacts, and I think I’m possibly sick now as I write this later in the night. I’d stop and walk early on every now and then during my run because I was tired, but after I reached the halfway point, I didn’t walk again. I started sweating way too much and if I walked, I would end up with a cold because of how quickly my sweat froze. When I got back home, I changed clothes and slept for an hour.

When I woke up I put on my contacts and my vision was greatly improved. I think spending a few hours in the outdoors without any glasses or contacts on really helps the vision. As I’ve stated in the previous entry however, for anything permanent I’d have to go without contacts or glasses and be in the outdoors for more than 8 hours a day for a year or more. I don’t think I can do that, but I can do at least a few minutes of no glasses or contacts outdoors a day (I might not be able to do a full hour of it’s too cold out).

I started working on my homework assignments that were recorded in the status sheet. I read through the learning guide, I finished assessing 3 of my classmates’ programming assignment from unit 2 (I just gave everyone straight 100s because they all fit the rubric correctly), and I got through half of the reading assignments. I was getting pretty bored at this point so I signed onto Skype and sent Obs a quick message, I just told her I was online doing homework assignments and she could talk to me if she wanted.

I then just continued on through the reading. The reading was pretty easy this week compared to the first week. The first week there was just so much reading, I probably spent a good 5 or more hours just reading in the first week alone. Today I spent maybe an hour or less reading and I was already halfway through. Natalia at that point came online on skype, and I just sent a quick “hello” message to her.

She’s rarely online and said she was just waiting for someone selling a hat or something. Natalia was very energetic as always. She was just so pumped up after that one “hello” that we had a conversation that lasted for over two hours.  Sometime in the middle I was like, “okay maybe I should get back to my reading assignment…” but I couldn’t, she’s rarely on and it’s fun talking to her every now and then. Our conversations are kinda dumb too though sometimes, but funny, I’m still laughing out loud while reading some of the things she said and how I responded.

I told her I’d write about her in my journal entry for the day. She asked how I even had the strength to write a journal, I told her I didn’t really think about it, I just did it. And then she just signed off, offline without saying good night. I told her

Me: you’re supposed to say goodnight when you go to sleep :\
Me: you don’t just leave -.-
-2 hours later-
Nat: yeah sorry
Nat: wanted to minimize it but I ended up closing it instead
… (skipping some other stuff she said)
Nat: so good night!

I think I’ll make it a rule that “if you’re in my day, you’re in my journal.” It’s something I haven’t really followed this entire time I’ve been writing this journal, but that’s the rule I told Nat. I think I’ll follow it from now on though.

I think one of the most meaningful conversations I’ve ever had was with Obs tonight. First, some excerpts from my day 25 journal entry:

“Anyway, I told her that I’ve met thousands of people in the past and most people just come and go. I asked her if she wanted to stay in contact forever, she said I was interesting to talk to and agreed.”

“From my own insecurities having met people, forming a great relationship with them, and then having it all end, I asked her again if she wanted to be friends forever. And she agreed. We performed a virtual pinky promise across thousands of miles on it.”

“I really hope our friendship lasts until we die. We just have a lot in common together from being into tech, and both writing daily journal entries. It’s kind of surprising how I went from writing about her being possibly the only other person that did this, to getting in touch, and now we’re friends for life.”

“I explained that in our friendship, we’d do our best to support each other and help each other grow. I’ll do my best as a support, and I hope she does the same. We might be able to work on projects together later down the road if she’s interested. I want our growth to continue and never stop until we die. If she can resonate that same drive, then this could be the best life long friendship that has ever formed.”

So we’re friends for life. Since then we’ve started adding our tasks and goals to a google spreadsheet we call the ‘status sheet’, and I think we’ve contacted each other at least once a day since then. We’ve written about each other in our journal entries and have already gone through some strong events together (suicide note on the website, the night she kept crying because of a personal issue, etc).

Anyway the chat from tonight was pretty powerful. I knew I was going to write about Natalia tonight, but I didn’t know how Obs would react if I just wrote about another girl all of a sudden, so I asked her. She said that she didn’t really care because it wasn’t as if we were in a relationship to begin with. I agreed, but we were still in a supportive friendship.

We talked for a while exchanging ideas, stories, emotions. In the end we came up with the conclusion that we wouldn’t start dating each other until 4 years, if our friendship can last that long. During that time we were free to date and experience anything we wanted to, while still remaining close friends and supporting each other. If we couldn’t find anyone better by then, we’d start dating each other.

4 years is 1650 days from now. That would be my journal entry day 1685 if we’re counting it from today. The date to remember would be: November 27, 2020. For her journal entries, it would be entry day 1932. Can we even keep journal writing for that long?

If I remember her birthday correctly, we’re 6 years and 5 months apart in age. It’s not a big age gap in later life when you’re in your 30s and later, but in your teen and 20s the age gap seems big. Because our age is rounded in whole numbers, for 5 months in a year, I’ll be 7 years older than her, and for 7 months in a year I’ll be 6 years older than her. Besides the age difference, I think everything else works well, and even then the age difference isn’t so bad.

It’s conversations like the ones I’ve had tonight that make life worth living. 4 years isn’t actually that long of a time but so much can happen within that time period. How much will technology have changed in 4 years? Will my eyesight be just as bad or worse in 4 years? How will my health be? Where will I live? What kind of work will I be doing?

Any Obs, let’s see how long we can make our supportive friendship last.

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Selfie for the day

4 thoughts on “Journal Day 35”

  1. There are vitamins to help your eyes stay healthy: Preservision and AREDS2. Also eye drops—I use Systane. You can fine them at Walmart. I notice after using the computer my eyes are blurred, too. But I have a little bit of macular degeneration, so I have to be diligent about the vitamins. Hope this may help! Have a blessed day.

  2. Hey Grace! Thanks for the suggestions. I have eye drops that I use before going to bed and right after waking up. I don’t know if they’re helpful. I haven’t tried any pills yet, but blackberries and blueberries are good for the eyes too, so are carrots.

  3. Isn’t it amazing, the friendships we create while emptying our deepest thoughts into our journals. I really have nothing spectacular to advise you other than I want to thank you for an interesting read. I feel more at ease about opening up in my own journal (I just today discovered this site, I used to write in OpenDiary a long time ago) Take care of yourself.

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