Sunday

Today like every day i woke up thinking of you Love. Checking to see if i had gotten anything from you. Turns out i havent. I remember telling you delete my messages i dont want us to get in trouble. But i never meant block me. I honestly meant message me whenever you can because i will be missing you insanely.. & yes i honestly do. Since i never saw anything & i was desperate to see u or hear from you. I went out in the street hoping i would run into you. I sware i was in the store repeating to myself in my head “where are you babe? Where are you? Come on get out here.. i miss you damn it! Yet no sign from you. As i was getting my things ready to leave i was getting more & more anxious. Beacuse i was simply hoping to run into you. But the day kept on going and im trying to find any excuse to not be home & see you. Yet again nothing. It was an alright day. Spent awhile with my family then came home to my show. & Their my day kept going but you my love never out of my heart & mind. 

  The same questions still spinning & spinning in my head. I want you i really do. But do i want to leave this life? Will i miss it? The problem also with me is, im so used to this life & person. So i cant seem to get over the point that i once had plans visions in my head with this person. & Now i dont know how to stop in the middle & continue my life elsewhere. I really dont feel any love their anymore. I dont feel the same anymore when he touches me, When he kisses me or when he looks at me. I know now that he wants more for us. But he always settles for what he has. I want more. I have ambition in me. I want to work make my own do my own but with someone beside me. Someone whos going to let me follow my dreams & not get in the way of it. My boyfriend all hes done is cage me. Why because of his insecurities & jealousy. So all ive done is watch him work for the past years. He dont let me have friends & if i do they have to be close like family. Ive never wanted that but i allowed it. & Because i allowed it now i am in the situation i am in. But now im older & wiser & i still want to do something with my life. & Thats the goal. I can do it alone. I dont need anyone, just my love by myside. Thats all i want is Happiness, respect, love, honesty & loyalty. Is that to much to ask for? My question remains the same

What do i do? 

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