Brain salad

Lately I begin to have moments where I suspect that my deepest thoughts are borderline delusional. I catch myself in moments where I am almost convincing myself of something that doesn’t really seem to be happening. If you read my entry yesterday, you can get the gist that I have suffered through an ugly past. I’ve experienced and survived situations that would cripple most people mentally. To be fair to myself, I made it out okay and everything is silent and peaceful and that perhaps is the issue. I spent too many years in such chaos that when something good does occur, I wonder where the ‘punch line’ is. The conundrum is that I obviously know better and yet it continues to plague me.

My brain right now is a salad of disaster.

2 thoughts on “Brain salad”

  1. I read your previous posts, but I don’t think you let everything out. You let in hints that so-and-so event happened, but aren’t giving any details, like how long ago did it occur? Why does it hurt even today? Why do you still think about it? What exactly happened? It might help you more to post it, but you should remember that it’s all in the past – and that we’ll be dead someday – so there’s really no point in worrying about it.

    I mean it’s scary to post, but you’re completely anonymous on this website. I give out my name and face, I’m known. So sometimes I filter my content, sometimes. Most of the time though, it doesn’t phase me and I let out exactly how I felt that day, or exactly what events occurred.

    But again, I don’t know if it’ll help you or not, it should just be events that are long forgotten, they should not affect you anymore, those events don’t define who you are.

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