It has been some time since I have done any of this writing. So lets see how this first post goes. I was an avid writer back when Open Diary was a thing. So what shall my readers expect from me? Random thoughts and questions in which I am unable to express in the real world.
I should really be in bed sleeping about now. I have an early morning due to having to be at work at 6 am. I am feeling a bit stressed about the day. Large chicken order due at 11 am. What is it I do you wonder? I am a deli clerk in a major retail chain. Nothing amazing or extravagant however I love my job. Well most days would be more of a right answer. I love what I do. However I struggle with the customer aspect of the job some days. You see I am not much of a people person. So why are you in a customer service job you ask? I am good at it. I know how to do the job well. I just get caught up in my head and I can not stand stupid people or people who think I am lower then them because of my job. Discussing my job is not what is keeping me awake. The truth is it’s the thought of a man. You see I am happily single. I love it. I hardly even pay attention the the opposite sex unless I am gaming. (yes I am a gamer) then its the unwind having a good time. I have a lot of guy friends who I generally enjoy their company. To date anyone is something I don’t think about. Until I met him…I am gonna refer to him as Jace. (changed his name to protect privacy) Jace is the manager of the meat department. He is not at all the type of guy I normally notice yet I am captivated by this man. I want to know this man. I want to marry this man. I have never wanted to marry before. The idea of marriage scares me to death. Then I met Jace. now my entire world is turned upside down. The issue is I don’t believe he even knows I am alive. I mean sure we say hello when we see one another. and we have casual short conversations every now and then but that is the extent of our communication. So I am trying to rack my brain around why I am so drawn to him. Why does he consume my thoughts? Why does the world seem to disappear when he is in the same area? why am I captivated by every word he says? it just does not make sense. I need to focus back on life and not get caught up in something I know will never happen. This one man could have the power to destroy me in more ways then anyone else has. Main reason why I shall not be allowed to allow him to get close. It is a war I deal with everyday. Any who I am going to sign off. Have a goodnight world