It’s been a while

Today is Tuesday November 29 206.

I have 9 minutes to write so I might finish up later who knows.

The main reason  I wanted to write in this thing is because I really need to evaluate or figure out a plan. It’s been a while since I really connected with someone. I feel content without someone. When I am with someone I always find ways to push them a way. Maybe I should talk about that. I don’t think it’s bad that there are things that bother me about people. Most relationships don’t work out for me because people only invest themselves emotionally. I don’t feel like that’s giving it 100. Like in order to have a healthy relationship people need to know what makes them happy. And just because I am happy doesn’t mean you will be happy because I am with you. 

I like that this woman has a job. She’s been there for a while. I remember when I first saw her for a while she would come to work wearing crutches. I think her leg was broken. How did her leg break?

I remember after I graduated 8th grade and moved to Texas. The girl down the street wanted to hang out all the time. I didn’t think anything of it. She was nice. She was new. I wasn’t used to this. 

But I want nice. I want respectful. I want patience. I’ m scared though in a way because I don’t expect her to wait. 

The thing that really attracts me to this girl is that she knows my name and she always says hi to me. But I don’t know if she’s saying hi to be nice or if she’s saying hi because she likes me.

Today I walked into work and walked right past her without saying anything. I never say anything to her. I did say hi and she walked away. Maybe she didn’t hear me. Or maybe she was nervous too.

MY GOD this shit freaks me out!

I just want to figure out her name. It’s simple Hi. What’s your name? I could even smile when I ask her. And then say okay I have to go to work now. I’m sure I’ll see you around.  OMG!

Taking a minute to think about things really helps. And now my time is up!

One thought on “It’s been a while”

  1. It gets scarier the more you think about it. Honestly going up to someone and asking their name, be it an attractive girl or not, is really easy for me. BUT if I stood there staring and thinking about it for 10 seconds or more, it then becomes insanely difficult and I can feel my heartbeat increasing and sweat start forming, and then I don’t do it because I know if I talk my voice would be trembling, and I hate to have a trembling voice when I know logically it is so unnecessary.

    You have to do it fast without any thinking, that’s the key. If you walk into work thinking “okay today I’m going to ask her name” THAT MAKES IT A LOT HARDER.

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