Journal Day 37

I’m writing this entry on 11/30/2016 but the entry is for 11/29/2016. I’m going to be more consistent with writing these in the future and write them at a set time every night.

I started off the day feeling great even though I didn’t get much sleep. I talked with Obs the night before and we had a good chat. We scheduled that we’d talk to each other every night, and I went to sleep knowing there was someone I could talk to and relate to the next day.

For some reason I woke up at 6 AM and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I volunteered to drive my mom to work. There was enough time to take a shower, brush my teeth, and pack up before leaving. Normally I hate getting up early and I have no energy, but today I was ready. I dropped her off and I arrived at work very early, I was possibly the second or third person in that morning. By noon it was packed.

Work today was for the most part normal, I was getting my normal work done. Sometime in the afternoon though, there was a big meeting announced by one of the people who first interviewed me in the company. This person was also the person who trained me and that I sat next to for my first few months working there. I can’t explain how influential she has been to me and my life, she was my mentor and guidance. Today she announced to the team, there’s about 7 of us in the team total, that she was departing and that her last day would be next week, she almost cried.

I was pretty stunned, but happy for her at the same time. During her announcement I was mostly smiling, she was moving on to a much higher position at a large company. I was happy for her, for all she’s done for me, I was happy she was getting this for herself. It’s hard for me to imagine the company without her. Company Name without Person’s Name? It’s so hard to imagine. I gave her a high five as she announced her position and where she was moving to. I was so glad.

The rest of the day was not the same after that announcement. I slacked her my own private sentiments and we ended up talking for a while. I wouldn’t let her leave without her knowing my thoughts and feelings towards her, the company, and the people. That makes it sound like I have feelings for her, she was my mentor, I greatly admired what she did and how she helped me.

There was a company all-hands and I listened to it with more scrutiny. Person’s Name was leaving, though only a handful of people knew. It wouldn’t be formally announced until later. But what was more important?

After the all-hands I went downstairs with some co-workers to get some fresh air. We were outside talking in front of the building. There was one guy I thought I could trust, he was 4-5 years older than me, and because Person’s Name leaving affected me a lot, I told him the news. He was flabbergasted and he went up to another co-worker who was also outside but on the phone to tell him the news. I already regretted telling him, I told him it’s not supposed to be known by anyone yet. He started saying “Hey, I have some intel!”

Suddenly though, apparently a famous football player who lived in the area walked by. He acted like how a teenage girl would when Justin Bieber walks by, he started screaming out this guy’s name and his entire face and eyes lit up. He suddenly started pumping his fist in the air and chanting this guy’s name. Suddenly he just forgot about Person’s Name leaving and just became so excited. So he didn’t say anything and just started talking about how amazing this football player was instead. I lost all my respect.

I was with him the entire time all the way back up the elevator and into the office, he didn’t mention it at all. But I skyped him when I sat back down, telling him not to tell anybody because it hasn’t been announced yet. He said no one would know. But I don’t trust that. I’m not going to share anymore information like that again.

After that, I picked up my mom and we drove home. I was extremely fatigued and I couldn’t bring myself to study. What I should’ve done was take a nap, but my computer was on and it was hard to resist browsing. I browsed mindlessly on the Internet, having no purpose but to apparently kill time. Waste of time.

Later on in the night my dad and I had an argument. It was a strong and loud argument, but in the end I brought him to my thinking and he submitted saying I was right. That’s something I used to say was impossible. He never agreed with me on anything. But my adrenaline was up, my heartbeat was up, even though for the final few minutes we talked calmly, the argument before was rough.

I checked the time and it was the time Obs and I were scheduled to talk. I was really looking forward to it but my overall mood had previously been aggressive. Still, I greeted her, she greeted back. There was lag problems early in the chat where I would disconnect for minutes at a time – really interrupting the flow of conversation. I wasn’t sure if it was those interruptions, or my own mood, or she may have been tired, but our chat didn’t flow as well as it had every other time.

She said she wasn’t going to be available for a few days and that she had to cut off the conversation early because she had a lot to do tomorrow. I suggested we take a break from each other until she got back, so no emails or messaging. I didn’t have much to say during the chat, but after the chat a lot of ideas came through my head. There were things left unsaid that I’m looking forward to say next time, hopefully I still remember by then.


Selfie for the day

2 thoughts on “Journal Day 37”

  1. Hello; nice Journaling. Having someone to talk to daily is good, don’t beat yourself up if you do not get to chat with your daily pal…daily! lol. Plus, arguments with parents totally normal. Not wanted, but normal! I don’t argue much more with my Dad as I use too, for one, he is older now (84 going on 25)! I don’t want to hurt him. No stress no mess! Plus, he too fragile now-a-days. Never thought I’d ever say that because my Dad has always been a tough cookie! But, yea…so try to cherish the time with your Dad more and it might not be easy to do cause we are younger and times are different for us. Be patient with him understanding your views. Also, I was once “the mentor” who left the company. lol …I had a mentor leave on me as well once too! So, I have been on the end of both spectrums! How ironic! lol ….anyways….good Journal! – Sky

  2. Hi Sky. Thanks for your post! I didn’t mean to reply late, I was just so tired throughout most of the day. I hug and apologize to my dad every time we get into an argument. I’m very used to it, I know our mortality and that we’ll all be dead soon. I used to not do this, but after becoming more empathetic I started doing that. People get old.

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