The Girl Who Just Can’t Win.

I woke up around 8:30 this morning. Rather, that’s when I got out of bed. My bedtime this past week in particular has consisted of falling asleep between 2-5:30 each morning and typically up and moving by 8:30. Not to say I sleep that entire time either. Really it consists of me tossing and turning and occasionally getting to sleep soundly for an hour or two at a time. By now, I am exhausted. None the less, I woke up thinking today would be a great day. I had errands to run, then I was going to Skype with my best friend in North Carolina followed by an evening of cheat food and studying. I called the Department of Social and Health Services to see if I could get some financial assistance for food. I still have some in savings, though it is draining quickly. So after waiting on hold for TWO HOURS, I am informed that because I go to school, I don’t qualify unless I work at least 20 hours per week. It doesn’t matter that medical issues are preventing me from working, that I haven’t had an income in NINE months or that I am not the one paying for school. The service rep was empathetic and tried looking for other options that might help me. In the end, she tells me that I don’t qualify for any kind of assistance at this time. I am baffled. What do people in my situation do if they don’t have savings to fall back on? And seriously, I am being denied assistance because I am going to school while I can’t work? How does that make any sense? I just don’t understand. I have been employed full time for the last 13 years, isn’t this the kind of thing we pay taxes for? This couldn’t have been foreseen and it’s not like I don’t want to work! I’m anything but lazy and getting back to work is my #1 priority but that doesn’t change the fact that I could use a little help in the meantime. I was planning to buy a home, not spend my life savings trying to get by while battling medical setbacks. Anyways, then it turned into one of those days… I began researching how to appeal my disability case and couldn’t get any immediate answers. The insurance lady said she’d send me a copy of my file, then I get a voicemail saying they can’t release it until they receive it in writing. I call multiple lawyers, only to be told they do Social Security Disability cases but not Long Term Disability cases. I went to my patient portal to print my doctors notes and their new system doesn’t allow you to access them anymore… It was just one of those days where I feel as if I just can’t win. I’m overwhelmed and it feels as if there’s no help available… I am feeling defeated and drained. Yet I still have to study. There’s no putting that off given that the quarter is almost over and I’m behind. *Sigh* I suppose it might be time to admit that today just isn’t my day… 

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