Journal 2

Sorry, work was pretty tedious today. But I cried a ton today knowing how I happy since I picked another career choice. But I’ll talk about that later. After work I visited an old friend, she passed away three years ago and any time something good or bad happens I always visit her grave. Her and I have a unbreakable bond, though I only knew her for several months. We first meet at a hospital, a mental institution. I’ll never forgot, I got there pretty late so I was pretty unsocial and wanted to just sleep. I knew the routine, take your meds and sleep. The only thing on my mind was getting back to the real world. I could have cared less whether I died that day or tomorrow. Then I saw a girl around my age just laughing and not having a care. The next day at (I slept in) lunch I was at the table with her and few other people and this person who sat next to me was still hungry, instead of eating all of my food like the rest I split it. Everybody was surprised and of course I didn’t care. The girl looked and asked why I did that and I simply told her he was hungry and walked off. For some reason that interested her to get to know me. We talked and told me her reason why she was there (she was raped by her ex bf and wanted to kill herslef). I told her that I was stuck in a cycle of wanting to kill myself. We spent weeks talking and getting to know each other and basically became best friends. The last day I looked at her and said to her that she gave me hope, I’ll never forget what she said to me “Isho never give up, keep fighting for what you dream, keep being who you are. Your personality lit up the whole room, your love for others will touch so many people. I never want to see you back here again and most of all love yourself.” She gave me a hug and her address so we could become pen pals. She ended up taking her own life. I felt like it was my fault for not helping, for not knowing. But I kept on going for her wish was to keep fighting, to not give up and to keep loving. I miss her so much. Thank you for reading if you are reading this. If you ever need to talk please talk. So many beautiful lives and souls are gone every day, if it helps. I love you and care for you. Thank you.

One thought on “Journal 2”

  1. I was deeply moved by your journal entry. Your story of your friendship is beautiful. I am so glad you are honoring her by continuing to live and dream and love. And thank you for being there for “us.” Love and hugs.

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