Cried for you

You know, you cant just decide to be my friend from time to time. Whenever you are alone, you run to me. But when others show interesst in being with you, you just pretend i dont excist. I’m sorry but it doesnt work like that. 

Friendship comes and goes as you grow. Its normal, I’m pretty sure everyone experinces what its like to grow apart from a friend, or lose one. I here also know alot about those things. I’ve left alot of people because they were toxic. Leaving them as a friend is not really something I enjoy, the reason for why I’m leaving is why it hurts too be with them. 

Im not someone to be put on the sideline as a plan B. True, I’m always there for you whenever you are sad. I walk with you on the lonelyline whenever noone else does. If I see you are hurting I’m there for you. Thats what friends do, we are there for eachothers. Only thing many people dont realize, is that there needs to be two people in a friendship. I cannot keep having to let the friendship work on my own. I’m worth more than that. 

We have been friends for years, thats what makes it so hard. All the memories we have had together, yet it is so easy for you to replace me. Even when you see me standing alone, not minding whatever you are doing, you just ignore me. It hurts. I see you smile, and Im happy you have lots and lots of friends. It would just be nice if I could feel what its like to be included aswell. Im just wondering. The time when you were too shy to befriend anyone, the time where you refused to talk to people. I was there for you, I made sure you werent alone. Doesnt that mean anything to you at all? Is everything we have done together nothing for you?

Reason why I stay for so long. Is probably because.. The feeling when someone actually is with you. Thats so great having someone to talk to. Just sucks their gone the next moment.

Loneliness is probably the thing that bothers me the most. I’m actually a really happy person. Just that one thing thats missing. Everyone have probably felt lonely at some point, so understand with me. Its not fun. 

3 thoughts on “Cried for you”

  1. Apology tho whoever is reading. It got messy when i wrote this, probably hard to read. I dont think properly when I write about stuff like this. Just words that came out of my mind in the moment.

  2. You changed your name that is good thing actually. Well even best friends sometime sometimes do that. I felt the same thing while I was in my last year of Middle School I was put into another section and my friend in another. I had to go through a long tedious process just to get into his section and I did it all but when I did he had already made friends and I was just there watching him.
    I then made my own friends but as time passed we started to be friends again more accurately in a year. Even now after 7 years we are still best friends even thought I slapped him as hard as I could in front of everyone in class including the Professor , hahaha now that I think about about it it was hilarious.
    I wrote about him in my last entry you can read it maybe it will make you feel better like I said in the end it all worked out when Middle School ended everyone went on their different way but we stayed in close touch we would always get together when one was feeling down and we still do it to this day.

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