I’ll and my bf wants me worse

Got home last night after work. And my bf goes on about seeing his brother. A brother that never comes here unless picked up.

My boyfriend says he has issues, but that’s ok. But what I don’t understand is I have issues too, I hate going out on public transport I have to have my earphones in. People stair at me, wispa about me and worse of all I have had people point at me when my top off. Hence I hate being out. If I am not at home in my bed room I am locked in my office at work. I deal with the public because if I don’t my life would be my bed room once again. 


Any way I reminded him that he said that if I was still ill we’re not going and that we did not have to and then right on que the mood starts. So I told my bf why not come here, and my boyfriend says he has no cash, but he has the cash to buy a PS4 and games and weed? WTF and then it was he can’t get the bus because he can’t deal with it. Then I said taxi then but like always there is an excuse and reason. But when I say I can’t do some think it’s like no that’s not a reason, tell me that I am fucking up some think, list goes on. 

So even though I have my issues I am, not allowed to let it effect my life but when it’s his brothers or sisters the issues that have have to be understood and do what my boyfriend says? When will it end? Is any think I ever done or will do for him to be enough to put me first. Or am I to be a punch bag where all my emotions feelings or issues will be beaten out of me mentally. 

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