Fed up with people

I’m so fed up with people, so called “friends” who was there for me at the beginning of all this been “real supportive” dropped me as soon as they got the gossip and now they don’t wanna know me because I’m not full of energy n out drinking with them, even my “close” friends from primary school don’t bother with me now. Iv been messed around by any guys that Iv given a little trust to since what happened, either taking advantage of me been vulnerable n seeking there opportunity to comfort me just to try get there leg over, and one I trusted a lot turns out he cheated on his girlfriend with me, Iv now lost completely all trust in men. I find it hard to even trust anyone any more, even some family don’t bother with me after what happened with my ex cousins n aunties n that, don’t bother to text ring or pop n see me to see how I am, then when I do see them they don’t ask me how I am. This is exactly why I blame myself for what happened, I feel like I deserved it, because ever since I got out of that relationship people have distanced from me when I need them the most.
My close friend who’s been there for me though everything he’s been amazing even he has started to mess me around now one minute he’s coming up with all these ideas on how to help me and get me more support, making me feel better n feel hopeful, then the next day he doesn’t do what he said, he don’t even speak about it, he’s suppose to be coming with me to my mental Heath assessment tomorrow, to support me n help make sure I mention what I need to n he keeps saying he might not be able to come then he can’t come then he might be able to again n he will come round later n talk about it, then he cant come round so he will ring me later about it, he don’t rind so I messaged him, n he was online but ignored me. Now I’m just not feeling positive about it, my anxiety is really bad as it is without getting messed around by my friend, I know that if I go tomorrow I’m gunna end up getting really bad anxiety not be able to say what I need to n I’m going to be back to square one 😔why arnt people there when I need them, n why do they make promises they can’t keep I’m so fed up with it, I give up reaching out to people it just makes me feel worse.

2 thoughts on “Fed up with people”

  1. I hope your friend will come through for you one of these times. I’m sorry you’re having such pain and discouragement. I’m asking God to send you an angel named Hope to walk through these days with you so you won’t feel so alone. Blessings and love.

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