(Former) Thot Thoughts

Now that I’ve been abstinent for almost 2 years, I thought it would be ok to start dating again. I would like to be married one day. But dating as a Christian woman is not easy either.

I’m not interested in being a pastor’s wife, deacons might be a little too mature, and I don’t think I’d be a good fit for a man who’s so godly he wants to pray before sex. Of course that’s sex after we’ve said I do’s.

Dating before was like… 

Dude: Excuse me miss what’s your name, where are you from, can I take you out tonight?

And I’d be like: Sex with me is so amazing!

Then Dude be like: Tell me if you bout that life right now; what’s up?

Then I’m like: Driver roll up the partition please; watermelon.

Then Dude and I be like: Uhh, na na na na…don’t stop get it get it, work, work, work, work, work.

Then I’m like: Hello, it’s me. I was wondering….

And Dude be like: The number you have dialed is no longer in service. If you feel you’ve reached this message in error, you haven’t. Please hang up now. Bye Felisha!

I don’t miss Thot dates, but I’m failing Christian Dating 101.


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