Sunshine and Snow!

Snow! As a kid, we sled down this HUGE hill with a creek at the bottom and despite our endless efforts to jump the creek, we usually either stopped just in time or we just ended up in it ha-ha. I have so many fond memories of playing in the snow and and going cross country skiing with my family. Sadly, most of my adult life has consisted of commuting for work which has made the thought of snow less exciting. Not to mention my life feels so busy that even on the rare occasion we do get it, I never have time to enjoy it, much less spend a day at the mountain. So yesterday when it started snowing, I felt like a little kid all over again. It was such an amazing feeling! I didn’t have to worry about driving anywhere or missing work and I walked outside and just stared in awe as the snow fell. I watched it from the window for hours. Then this morning, I put the dogs blanket on and got bundled up and out we went! We had so much fun just puttering in the snow with no agenda and no worries! I have been so busy studying and fighting this depression bout that I haven’t wanted to leave the house and the snow brought just the happiness I needed! 

Then today I was talking to a boy I met online and he asked what I do for work. It is such an awkward question for me because I hate saying that I am not working. I feel the need to explain my situation so they don’t get the wrong impression. He asked me a couple of follow up questions and to my surprise, his response was that my answers say a lot about me and he can tell I am an extremely strong person. I told him it was a really insecure topic for me and I really appreciated such a kind response. And I did. 

And last but not least, I am almost done with this quarter! Then, I only have three classes left and I will be graduating college! For a girl who dropped out of high school, this is a pretty big deal! Not to mention, I took 3 classes this quarter and at one point I was so overwhelmed that I thought I wasn’t going to be able to finish them all. Given that my amazing mom is paying for school, I couldn’t imagine letting her down. I have really buckled down the past few weeks and I am not only going to finish all 3 classes but I am going to get good grades in all of them! Yay!

This past week has been such a struggle for me. There has been a day or two where I refused to leave the house at all. I have been stuck in this awful hole of depression fighting to find that glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel and today I found it. Today I found moments of happiness and laughter and feeling proud of myself and I know now that I am going to be okay. What a wonderful feeling that is. I am beyond grateful for these feelings and just had to share! 

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