Up and awake

I woke at 8AM on a fucking sunday. Even when I want to rest my briain will not shut the fuck up. 

The thoughts of last night was right at the front of my mind as I woke. Only thing I can do is just pretend and act like normal, that way there will be no arguments. I can not deal with the arguing over respect ad just being genraly thoughtfull. 

I feel so suicidle, no can you even feel suicidle? It’s more like a graving to die. I can’t even self harm. I have no privacy, no alone time, nothing apart from my medications. 🙁 

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