I am a guy with varying faith, it gets strong and it gets weak but whenever I’m on the verge of falling from faith something happens that pulls me back. Whenever I’m on the verge of entering a world forbidden something always stops me.
Sometimes I think I’m too much blessed and now I believe I AM TOO much blessed. The question that comes to my mind is why am I so blessed?
Is is because of my parents, who are always praying for me? Yes! This must be the biggest reason for I am a great sinner and why would a sinner be blessed this much?
Is it because I offer my prayer? Maybe not, I don’t offer all five nor I try to go to Mosque.
Is it because I’m always thankful for what I have? For He says in Quran “If you are grateful, I will surely give you more and more” (Ibrahim 14:7).
Is it because I pray for every one I see who is struggling, on the road as a beggar, in a shop as a shopkeeper. I pray for every old person I see walking in the street. I pray for every guy who is not having any customers. I pray for every person I see sad.
Now that I think about I don’t pray for myself often and when I do I pray for myself always with this sentence. This sentence was a prayer made by Moses when he left the palace of Pharaoh and was in the desert with no where to go the prayer was “O my Lord and Sustain-er! I am truly in need of whatever good You may send down to me.” (28:24)”
Even tough I have faith I do know it is the weakest one for the Prophet Muhammad said “He who among-st you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do it, then he should do it with his tongue, and if he has not strength enough to do it, (even) then he should (abhor it) from his heart, and that is the least of faith.” I belong the category with the least of faith.
I have been blessed with ever loving parents, I have been blessed with caring brothers and sister, I have been blessed with a beautiful house, I have been blessed with food on the table, I have been blessed with good friends, I have been blessed with the ability to distinguish good and evil, I have been blessed with a wardrobe full of clothes, I have been blessed with a ride on which I travel, I have blessed with a fully fictional body, I am blessed more than I deserve.
And when I will be tested I pray that Allah my help me overcome for Allah say in Quran
“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.”