Lil ship lost in the ocean

this is strange that feelings like a currency also get devaluated.
too much love and care starts to get boring, stupidly pinky, annoying, not up to time and place, and circumstance and in the end of the day each next unit of it costs a lil bit less than the previous.
i remember such rule of “diminishing utility” or smth like this was being told to us at the economy classes. that time as an example they were bringing apples.
seems that in this sense love has a lot in common with apples.
but what to do with it. when u get showered with a flood of it that is coming out of each part of the essence of urs. and u do not know where to store it. and how to hide it.
and maybe more importantly how to run away from it.
my love is my anchor. i have so much of it. and i want to share it a lot with people around. but apparently it happens that all my surrounding is made not from my people.
we resonate on different frequencies. and my love can not be transmitted to anybody.
and even if can be. it is not needed on the other side of the line.
i have a brilliant mind.
i am in much more peace and harmony with it. and its decisions. it perfectly correctly tells me all important lessons. what to do and how to do.
but if all these things are correct, then why my heart cries? why my eyes do?
it is very strange that in this world, where genuine love is such a rare gift and miracle to meet.
that in the world that is losing itself from the tremendous lack of that love as an alternative to evil virtues.
people who bear so much of it.
feel that it is not needed.
it is all because they themselves. these people. they are not needed.
it is very strange feeling. when u exist. the entire human. so good and smooth, so happy and nice, and even pretty. and not needed. by anyone.
it is such a feeling. as if u go alone in the empty street. and it is cold. and there is a wind. and u know that there is nothing behind and nothing ahead of u, that would wait for u.
and promise u a lil miracle. or at least that charming feeling of expecting miracles to happen. and there is noone too.
just alone. as a lil stupid ship, who plays its weird game and sings its sad song among oceans. u just float here. convincing urself that each wave is an important stage to deal with.
but in actuality. u just float in the ocean. with no sense and no shores awaiting for u.

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