God is in Control

For whatever silly reason, I forget just how big and powerful God is. I like to think if i do everything a certain way, the right way, then im in control and things will go as planned. Like most people, i really struggle when bad things happen to good people. I search for mistakes they must have made in order to justify why this bad thing would happen. Bc in my head, then it can make sense. Then its a punishment. It easier to believe thats yhe way things work than to believe I can make every “right” choice and still bad things can happen.
Starting in October God decided to “grow” me.. which unfortunately mostly comes through trials… you know those seasons of life where u are just putting one foot in front of another bc its really all u can do. Where you call out to God “you have made a mistake i am not this strong, please dont “grow” me anymore”.. yah, well thats the Storm ive been in since October. Most of you know i lost my Step mom in October. In the mist of her death and trying to help my dad. My mom was diagnosed with some serious medical problems. One being an acoustic neuroma brain tumor. The other, MS. My mind swirled with fears. Everyday since that day I have lived with such anxiety and fear of what the future would hold. While i would love to say i put all my teust and fiath in God, i cant. I still would send her encouraging Bible verses here and there but I remember the day she told me she knew “God was going to ahow up big time” I remember bwing annoyed with her and even kinda anrgy. I wanted to say dont get your hopes up mom, dont trust too much mom.. but i didnt i just found some reason to hurry her off the phone so i didnt have to hear that jibberjabber anymore. Our next conversations i focused on telling all the steps we needed to take for “God to show up”. I had the false sense that i could be in control. If we just do these certain steps then Im in control of the outcome. although i feel like i woll have to relearn this over and over in my li Life. Today God let me know he is in control. My mom and Ron went to see a specialist At John Hopkins in Baltimore. After see MULTIPLE doctors here in greenville… it was CONFIRMED she has NO brain TUMOR! The scans were misread. Misread is what the specialist said. While that may be true, I think this was “God showing up big time”!! Today, God asked me “will you trust me now?” My answer, YES!
She will meet with the MS doctor on Friday and we will know more about treatment plan for that then. But i fully Trust Gods plan for her and my life. Today i am singing songs of praise to a Powerful God who can do anything

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