Journal Day 51 – Obs

When a permanent change happens – you meeting somebody, you losing somebody, you acquiring a new object… At the moment it feels like a big change. After living with the changes for a while, it feels like it has always been.

I can’t stop time from progressing, I can only take advantage of every moment. One of the ways I do that is by resting after I’ve worked for a while. I’m at work right now and would like to lie down for a bit, but recently it seems like the quiet room has been occupied more frequently. Before, I would normally go there at any time of the day and it would be vacant, free for me to go in and rest a little by lying down. Now it’s almost always occupied.

I feel really sleepy today. This is the complete opposite feeling of how I felt yesterday – calmly energetic and comfortable. I just want to sleep right now. I often realize that I have more than enough time and capability to accomplish anything, but feeling tired and groggy like this really prevents me from doing much.

I wrote that post earlier in the day. I’m home now. I can recall that I got to use the quiet room at least once during the day, and that really eased things up for me. Then I was in a meeting from 2 to 2:30, and in another meeting with Chip from 2:30 until 6:00. For some reason I didn’t feel groggy after around 2 PM as I did in the morning. Maybe I was still sleepy from barely getting any sleep the night before? But later in the afternoon I was definitely fully awake, especially during the meetings.

During the morning I was able to get a lot of work done on a large project. Despite it being so large, I got it done a lot more quickly than smaller assignments – which was unexpected. I’m only assigned to three projects to work on right now, the biggest one has already been taken care of, and the other two can probably both be completed in a single day. There’s still a lot of other work I have to do though so I’m not entirely in the clear, but at the same time I’m not so concerned with the workload at work right now.

I have a lot of homework assignments due tomorrow night, so I’m going to get started working on them. There’s also a huge project due… That is going to take me all weekend to work on, but I really don’t have the energy to be able to work on: Work + Homework + Big school project, all on the same day. Well, I think I have enough energy for all that, yet it just leaves me so drained.

I’m going to do something I’ve never done before though – I’m going to try forcing myself to complete those activities despite being exhausted. I’ll do that now, after I post this journal entry. I’ll work on those assignments and get as much as I can done. I can’t even go to sleep right now anyway because the blanket is in a washer.

Well as I was working on Obs’ and I’s first book together by answering one of the questions she wrote, she interrupted me using the document chatbox with: “Australian accent Here we have a wild Megg Gawat, thinking about his answer.” That line spawned one of the most significant and meaningful conversations I’ve ever had in my entire life. The rest of the day didn’t really matter, so I crossed it off above.

Obs and I talked for a couple of hours about each other and about our relationship with each other. We just told each other the truths of what we felt and what we meant to each other, and our conversation was profound. I started by saying how much I appreciated Obs having the same ideals as me – namely that we both believe achieving anything is possible with enough passion, determination, and practice (her words actually, which I agree with). Other girls I’ve talked to – didn’t believe in the same ideals.

So at that point Obs and I understood that we have this awesome and unique relationship where we both want to achieve as much as possible together. We’re both very cooperative about it too, we both want to achieve a lot in our lives and we both want to do it with each other. That is the plan. Obviously there is a long road ahead of us, I want her to know that, and we will run into many issues and challenges, but being with each other makes that road less perilous and easier to travel.

I told her this was one of the best friendships I’ve ever formed in my entire life, and she sympathized that it was the same for her. She thanked me for helping her, I told her it wasn’t a problem because I felt like I was helping my future partner get through her teenager years in the best possible manner, so I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time helping her grow. She says it would be an interesting story to tell, I agreed saying that we have our own versions of it in our journals.

I then told her my insecurity of her being irreplaceable to me. I told her that if she decided to leave me, it would be really hard to find somebody else like her. She sympathized and said she didn’t think for a second about leaving me, that I was an amazing discovery, and thanked me a ton again for all the help I’ve provided, she said without me she’d be lost.

I’m wishing the best for both of us Obs. Let’s accomplish as much as we can together in our short lives.

And then we talked a bit more about other things, which she wrote about in her own entry. I would read that if you want to know what we talked about. But I’m really surprised at her wording:

“and then talked with Megg. We had a pretty good conversation, to the point he decided to save it, which I thought was a good idea as well.”

UHH. PRETTY GOOD Conversation? This was one of the best conversations I’ve ever had!

“We really feel like we have a good, meaningful relationship.””

Obs I think you need to learn about synonyms to the word ‘Good’ or maybe you need to open up a bit more and express yourself better 😛

Unless you really think our conversation tonight was just ‘pretty good’ and not amazingly life changingly profound. And also that our relationship with each other is just ‘good and meaningful’ instead of ‘exotically exciting and stupendously supporting.’ XD


Selfie for the day

One thought on “Journal Day 51 – Obs”

  1. Hey, don’t blame me xD I was tired and we were talking way passed the time I was even supposed to be off of the computer, I even say at the end of my entry that “I feel like I could talk about a lot more, but I’m really tired” (and I was dying of thirst, but I didn’t want to get water until I was finished writing). Now that I’m awake, let me rephrase it : I believe we had a conversation that caused a bonding experience and helped us understand each other better and how we mean to each other. It was also the start of even more interesting and worthwhile conversations 🙂

    Though, you seemed to have described the conversation a lot better than I did and I’m glad you appreciated it as much as I did c:

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