It has been a while since I’ve last seen Sean since our schedules are very conflicting. Something in me sensed that he was looking for a submissive. So I mustered up some courage to ask him.
Me: Are you looking for a submissive, Daddy?
Him: I am…why do you ask?
Me: I don’t know really lol. I just wanted to know.
Me again: I don’t know how to say it but you put me on to some things and piqued my curiosity.
Him: Are you open to being with other MEN and WOMEN in front of me?****
RED FLAG. I capitalized the words ‘men’ and ‘women’ to indicate that there’s something wrong with this picture. When I commit to a man, sexually or emotionally, I only want to be committed to him. So in my head, “I’m thinking hell muthafucking no. I don’t wanna fuck another man or woman in front of you. I only want you…” But I lied, because I wanted to belong to Sean so badly. He didn’t message me anymore after that. So I started looking for another Daddy. I joined Fetlife. I was unaware that Sean had an account, so I looked him up. And there he was MasterSean…
I browsed his page for a long time. At the top of the page, it said he was considering this girl kitty something. There was a timestamp 3 days. I clicked the link to her page and scrolled. In her description box, she had a link to a pdf about HSV. On the left hand side of her page, it showed all of the groups she was a part of. The only thing I read was HSV HSV HSV. “Remember how easily it was for Sean to fuck you? He definitely fucked her. Does he know she has herpes?” I asked myself.
Thoughts raced through my head like crazy. I felt nauseous. I felt betrayed. I felt exposed. I told myself that I needed to message her. I needed to know whether she had HSV and if she had sex with him. I felt tangled in a sea of lies. After days of thinking about it, I messaged her. She confirmed that she had herpes, but she did not feel the need to further discuss the details of her sexual encounters with me. This is when I decided to let Master Sean slip into the abyss of my memories.