Advise please, I badly need it

Okay so many things happen in my life this past few months. Me and my ex tried to fix things between us though we have an issue about sex. He wants to have sex, and I don’t wanted it yet because I believe in sex after marriage. For him, sex is a part of the relationship and to show me how much he loves me. We lasted for 2 months, and because of some factors (like I don’t treat him well enough) he gave up and broke up with me. He is really totally fed up with me and gave up so suddenly. But please take note, his a good guy, he has inserted too much effort in that 2 months. He cooks food for me, drive me to home everyday (going to the office, we need to travel for 4 hours and going home, another 4 hours). I was really treated like a princess. I was totally hurt of the breakup and not being used without him but because of my friends I was able to recover. After a few months, my ex went back to his ex but they lasted for only 1 month. He said to me that he just wanted to prove something to himself then, that he love his self more than he loves me – because the ex, he can get the sex that he wants. But they broke up for a specific reason and that is me. After we broke up, I decided to remove him out of my life totally, like blocking him, because I don’t want to be the reason of their fights (the girl hates me totally because she tried to get the guy when they broke up but the guy refused because he wanted to start courting me). Well i can say my ex was really an asshole that time. Moving forward, he paid for that, he inserted too much effort when he realize that he truly loves me. And now we’re here. When he get back to me, I said that if he is thinking that I’ve change my mind about sex, that is not true. I really wanted to point that out. And now he accepts my decision and learned to live by my rules for 1 year now. Things are getting fine along and I can really see that he was able to change and mature. But he talked to me and said that things are really getting hard for him lately because of abstinence but he don’t want to end things again. He really loves me and understand my beliefs but it is really hard for him. Well I can understand him, some of our friends say that he is an amazing guy for going all through this hardships just for me. Well, I can say that I still love him and I don’t want him to be miserable. I also wanted to adjust, but how? Maybe you guys have some suggestions, though we are still in the process of working things out. He never want to break up with me again, but according to him, he is totally like fasting in our situation and he only wants me that is also tearing him because it is against my rules. And to me, I just don’t know what to do. But I appreciate that he is enduring everything for me. 

Is it bad that I was thinking of dating some other guy (because there is) who don’t have this kind of belief (sex in a relationship)? Or should we stick together, me and my ex, because I can say this is the only issue that we have because we really got along?

PS. Me and my ex is still talking on how we should fix this. We both don’t want to split again but our beliefs are really clashing. 🙁 We are thinking of seeing a counselor after new year for some advice because we really want to fix this. To the other guy, he is a good friend still pursuing me even if he know that I have a bf (well technically the ex is the bf because we are still working things out and we love each other). My ex don’t like the other guy.

One thought on “Advise please, I badly need it”

  1. Well….that is complicated. It sounds like you really love your boyfriend and not so much the new guy. I would let him down easy I think. Unless you love him more than you love bf. Your beliefs are perfectly honorable and you have the right to wait until marriage—-a lot of women do, for many different reasons. He needs to respect that.
    Does he have a strong belief system you could compare this to, so he would understand it better? Is he passionate about any kind of morality? Thank him for respecting your wishes, but don’t apologize because you haven’t done anything wrong. And you simply want to keep it that way. Best wishes and blessings to you.

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