The Cutter

Unfortunately with Snoochie’s recent freak out (please excuse my terminology as I find it a challenge to label exactly what has happened), she has been drawn to some very negative coping skills. These new habits are ones every parent dreads. The counseler who will be working with Snoochie described it so casually, so nonchalantly, but to me its Earth shattering. 

Snoochie, at a mere 11 years old is a “cutter”. I gave her a set of keys to the house. The minute things got tough in school, she slashed up her wrist with those keys. My initial thoughts are to take away the keys, lock up the knives, and scissors, but then I realized something awful. I can watch her as best as I can. I can take away everything sharp, but she’s still going to find a way to do this. Treating her like she’s broken and not trusting her isn’t going to make this better. She needs a new strategy. 

Her therapist suggested she draw cute animals on the places she is tempted to cut. Snoochie use to draw all over herself and I had told her not too. So yesterday I found myself at Walmart picking out a big pack of new markers for just that purpose. She’s an artist. If she can draw instead of cut, that’s great. I no longer care that she wants to use her body as a canvas.

To show my support last night I let Snoochie use me as her canvas. She drew skeleton bones on my foot and a flower on my leg. I had such a wonderful time last night just being close to her, showering her with praise, and letting her draw all over me. If every picture becomes a scar that never was, well then I am one happy mom.

4 thoughts on “The Cutter”

  1. Such a heavy thing for your heart to bear, especially at Christmas time. You are being very brave and strong for her sake, and I know how much that costs you, and how much love you are calling forth from the depths of your heart. Snoochie will be all right because you are letting her be all right. Eleven is a terrible age. She will smooth out. She knows she has you to fall back on, and what a blessing that is! Cutting has become epidemic among her age group and older teens, especially girls. It’s mystifying. Some say “It lets the pain out.” Others I think just like the drama of it because it is so horrendous. Or they think it makes them brave. It is brilliant, getting her markers so she can draw on herself and on you! You are such a great mom! Keep on being you, and she’ll be fine. Soon. I will pray for her, okay? Love to you.

  2. I never understood cutting. I had a handful of friends I knew who did it, and they would show me their scars. I was always like “Why?” it just never made any sense to me. It doesn’t even feel good, in fact it hurts. How does that solve any problems?

  3. You are a great mum! The love and understanding you are showering your daughter with is amazing. I hope that through that love she will find clarity and see that she shouldn’t hurt herself because she is precious. Good luck x

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