December 19

I’m not sure what it is about today’s date but it seems like something important has happened on it or I am missing something going on today.  Perhaps it is the anniversary of when my grandmother died?  I can’t remember.


Husband is back overseas, he left over a week ago.  Things went fine.  The big banquet for our volunteer activity is done and over with and there’s nothing going on for a while.  I guess it is time to start Christmas shopping.  I’ve been trying to convince the husband to let me get a puppy for child #1 but no go.  No clue what to get her since all she wants is a dog.  Any chance anybody has a good idea for a 15 yr old girl?  She doesn’t like anything.


So that girl that I had been talking about texted me.  Like nothing had ever happened.  At 1:20 in the morning.  I was actually awake but I ignored it until the next day.  We sent a few (7?) texts back and forth over the course of the day and that was all.  W.T.F.  I’ve decided I’ll talk to her but so totally not getting emotionally involved again.  I was all healed and not taking the chance of being hurt again.


I’m very depressed today and not feeling like Christmas at all.  It just seems like I can never do the right thing so why bother to do anything at all?  I’m constantly being corrected in my volunteer job.  Every word that comes out of my mouth is wrong.  Even posting online it seems like somebody is always correcting me.  It has gotten to the point where I don’t talk or do anything that involves other people because I just know I’ll be wrong yet again.

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