My friend’s father propositioned me. It is utterly disgusting because I’m his daughter’s age mate, his wife and my mum are friends and he’s even friends with my mum and father.
It utterly destroys me when I think about the men of my father’s generation. The so-called fathers, it seems majority are degenerates.
My parents are separated. My mum is the one taking care of me, she is the one who cares and provides for me, with no assistance from my father, but at least he is still assisting her with my little sister education even if it’s barely.
I really hate old men, who have interests in young girls, my friend’s dad is 51. I’m 20 that is 31 years age gap, fucking gross. My mum is 50. This idiot of a man has been cheating on his wife over the years and I don’t understand why she is still with him. I get he has money and in this economy, it’s hard but for real, he doesn’t treat you right, why are you allowing him to get away with his shit. I don’t know why men with money feel entitled, feel like they can throw money at everything and get what they want. I’m not like that. I’ll never be. I hate him.
Anyway. My friend and her mum came to Nigeria for Summer ’16. They haven’t been here in 8 years, and they came with gifts, serious gifts. Clothes, shoes, treats, latest phones and MacBooks. They are handing out MacBooks like candy and I want one, so my friend said to ask her dad for one.
That’s how it started, I would greet him and shit daily, for my mum said I should be polite and then he’ll be messaging me and saying shady things like “you’re beautiful” “you’re smart” stuff that would push alert buttons but aren’t cause to raise alarm. Then he started saying that we didn’t have to worry he would take care of my mum, I and my sister. So I told my mum and she said I shouldn’t worry, I should just keep talking to him.
Then he asked for my account number. He said he wanted to give me money for my school semester, I tell my mum again and she’s like give him. But she’s noticing like I am he has an ulterior motive. So he sends me approximately £400 (N200,000) which is big money in my country, I gave my mum half and kept half. Anyways he still hadn’t outrightly said his real motive and I’m praying to God, he’s not a sleaze like my father, who cheated his way through his marriage with my mum and despite the fact that they are separated, but still legally married, had a baby in 2015 with another woman.
He was being very nice, bought my sister a new laptop also, gave my mum a million in my currency to assist with my sister school fees. I was thanking him and all for this for I am very grateful and that’s when everything changed.
His family travelled back to England. Yes, that’s where they live and thank God he’s on another continent and far away from me. Anyway, that’s when he started with his “love messages” I hate men who tell me they love me, without knowing any substantial thing about me. He’s my father’s fucking age mate and he’s gross ass fuck. He’s fat and fuck that he’s old, never ever I am going to be interested in your washed up used cheating ass.
He thinks money sways me. He thinks buying things will help him get into my pants and it’s so fucking gross, how some of my fellow females let men think this about us, women, in general, it’s a fucking wrong misconception.
I don’t know how he believes I am a wayward person without an atom of self-respect. Get this his approach to me was that, he would settle his girlfriend with a huge amount of money and leave her for me. Man was I shocked, he was writing messages upon messages on how he liked me and bullshit like that, I was so disgusted and shocked that he actually was saying all that to me. I proceeded to politely turn him down, highlighting all the factors of why he saying this to me are wrong, but no he didn’t listen. That’s when he started writing his life story for me. I had over 50 WhatsApp messages from him, telling me about how successful and rich he is and all he had accomplished and other shenanigans that I couldn’t be assed about.
Then he proceeded to insult me. He said he would make sure I’m successful in the career I select for myself, he would back me financially, help me create my own business and make me a celebrity in my vocation of choice. I wanted to die on the spot after reading that, what the actual fuck. No one will make me but me, I’m the only one who can make myself successful. I’m not for that bullshit statement that someone will come and tell me “I made you” you ain’t my ma get the fuck out, you’re not even my father.
He used emotional blackmail also. He said he’ll make my mum a very rich woman and I want that, she’s done a lot for my sister and me, taken a lot of shit from my father, even beatings to the point of life-threatening and she still stayed because of us, but I’m glad as hell she got us out of that environment. The icing on the cake is he said he would even help my bankrupt father.
It’s going to be alright he said, I shouldn’t worry his wife would accept me, for she doesn’t want a divorce and she likes me. His daughter my friend, she calls me her sister would be happy for us because she wants him happy. I gagged when I read this. What kind of bullshit world is he living in, does he think I’m that fucking gullible?
I was just shocked reading all the shit he said. Then he said he wouldn’t be interested in me in future when I’m older, he would lose “interest” “sorry” what the fuck. That’s so insulting. And clearly, even if I was interested, that means his cheating ass is going to be looking for someone younger in future if I accept his deadbeat self.
I told him again that he’s married, his daughter is my close friend and I’m too young for any of the things he said. But he says to me protect myself and don’t let any young boy come near me, his young, beautiful, smart and educated wife. Fucking hell he’s saying he wants to sleep with me. God, I’m crying as I’m writing this because I’m tired and I just really need to vent.
Keywords, though. Educated and smart. I am not dumb, I see through your bullshit. We were doing fine long without you and nothing is going to change that.
I don’t know how he actually thinks I want to be shackled to a washed-up, low-life, cheating degenerate.
I hate how he says he would make me successful. I don’t need a man to make me successful, I don’t need someone trying to use me and thinking I’ll buy their shit. Only I can make myself successful with hard work and prayer.
He said my mum wouldn’t mind, if we got together can you imagine the idiot? I should not care about what other people say just, my mum. Really?
I got tired of persuading him to stop, so I consulted my friends, I wanted to tell his daughter, but I couldn’t over the phone, I didn’t know what to say. Then my friends said I should not tell her, they said I should use him since he’s looking for a young thing to spend money on. I was really being polite and keeping him at bay, but I didn’t have any purpose or need to use him. I didn’t know what to do really. I couldn’t tell anyone, I was thrust into a situation where I didn’t want to cause trouble and kept quiet.
But he wasn’t being quiet, he was making hints to my mum and she caught on and I confessed to her. It was such a relief, but guess what she said I should lead him on, and I should use him to get money, that he says he’s going to marry me right? And he loves me? We’ll show him pepper. She said he’s mad, for how would she be happy he wants to marry me. Would he be happy if my father wanted to marry his own daughter?
I was already cutting him off, then my mum came that she needed money to pay rent and I should ask him. So I had to act like I liked him like I loved him. I’m typing messages like I’m interested in him and all the bullshit he sends to me. Just so he can send her money and he’s doing it in instalments, requesting I say I love him and I should say words that make him feel like he has me. He believes I love him and want to marry him now and it’s just so gross, it’s making me have troubles sleeping.
My mum said I should play along because he’s leaving his girlfriend because of me and I’m saving his marriage to her friend. She said not to worry, she’ll tell his wife. I think I’m telling his daughter for this treachery is heavy on my conscience. It’s sickening, yet my mum still wants me to use him for money and I can’t it’s tiring. I feel so guilty and grossed out because it’s just so wrong and I feel like smashing my head whenever I see his text of so called love.
He sent me pictures of him and I wanted to throw up because he sent me one of him in just a towel and it was utterly disgusting and then he said “oops” it was a mistake, mistake my ass.
He kept pestering me for a picture and oh my gods. My mum was always telling me, Tommy tell him I haven’t received the money and I had to make him happy so I sent him a recent picture and then she finds out and tells me I’m not smart I shouldn’t have sent him my picture. Mum, what do you expect me to do? I’ve sent him all the pictures I could find with his daughter in them with me, but it’s not fucking deterring him. Do you think I want to be in this fucked up situation?
Ugh. I don’t know what to do. I want to use him for he deserves it, but I’m feeling guilty about it all.
If you made it this far wow, thank you for reading this awfully long and unedited vent. I’m just letting out my feelings, well the ones which are currently troubling me.