Even though I got a second chance at school, it’s really hard for me to use that chance. I thought that I was recovering from depression, but my feelings now say otherwise. I’mstill stuck in the sad,depressing cicle of unproductivenes. I can not get myself to work. I am still thinking about the same things that I thought a lot about during my depression. The difference between now and then is that now, all these thoughts make me less emotionaly unstable than before. But on the inside I am still just as broken.
I still miss my friends, and I still can’t talk to anyone about my current condition. It scares people off. Even my parents and friends. I know I’m not the only one, but I haven’t encountered anyone I could talk to yet. So I still feel lonely. Really lonely.
I was thinking about going back to a psychologist. But this time my parents will not know. Every time I try to make them understand or talk to them about it, I always end up feeling more hurt than before. And I don’t want to annoy or scare my friends…
I didn’t heal from depression, I just got used to it.