Myself and my siblings went over to my fathers to join him and our step mum for an early Christmas celebration.
The afternoon was pleasant, everyone was in high spirits. There was lots of laughing and fooling around. It made me realise how lucky I am to be blessed with such nice siblings. I left to go back home to my mums mid afternoon, my siblings stay behind as they are staying over at my dads for the night.
I had decided not to stay over as my Dad and his wife are functioning alcoholics, so there would be way too much temptation to drink if I had stayed.
Lunch was a challenge everyone was drinking sparkling wine, I stuck with a tomato juice. When it came to dessert I couldn’t resist smothering my Christmas pudding with brandy cream. It was a bit of a joke at the time as the alcohol content is incredibly low, but on the drive home I panicked a bit. I couldn’t resist the alcoholic cream, what will be next a liquor coffee? A brandy hot chocolate? Or maybe some Buck’s Fizz?
As soon as I got back to my mothers I rang up the Alcoholics Anonymous phone line to find out if there are any meetings on tomorrow.
The thing is right now I’m not really craving alcohol what I am craving is affection. If I could have anything right now I would have my arms locked around a male whilst he caringly stroked my hair. I crave that feeling or warmth and security I get from receiving male attention.