Journal Day 63 – Christmas

December 25th 2016

When I woke up this morning I think the first thing I did was work on the gift program for Obs this Christmas. I wanted to send her a program I made that she could use, so I worked on a program that you would type in an author’s name on the website, and it would download all of their journal entries to a folder of the author’s name. I was mostly done with everything already, I just had to compile everything. The thing is that the compiler I used wasn’t able to grab dependencies for one of the modules, so the entire compiling failed.

But from my system I still ran the program to back up all of Obs’ posts to date, which was around 309 posts, and also saved the comments. I still had the source code so I thought that would suffice instead of a single .exe, because that part of the plan didn’t work, and I think it would be many hours before I figured out the issue.

Anyway, I checked my phone and it turns out she wished me a Merry Christmas last night at around 12 AM, I didn’t notice because my phone wasn’t near me last night. I replied to her text really late and also wished her a Merry Christmas! Then I worked on the email and the gifts to send her.

I have these 255 games that I purchased but never redeemed, and Obs enjoys playing video games, so that was the first thing I wrote about in the email. She could choose any three games and I would give her the codes for what she chose.

Then I added the program I created for her to use and wrote a brief description of what it did. I wasn’t able to include the .exe so she could run it on her system because it didn’t compile correctly. I wasn’t ready to dedicate hours to fixing it today, so I just sent her all her journal entries to date, and the source code of the program so she could learn from it.

The last part of the email was a personal message about what our friendship meant to me so far and that I wanted it to last forever. I sent the email and the gifts to her. Afterwards I texted her saying I just sent my gifts over. I also asked that when she sent her gift, if she could include as much detail about her personal gift as possible.

Afterwards I worked on my other presents, I also did some cleaning and some organizing of my room. The Macbook Pro return arrived yesterday. I opened the package, and verified to see if the Macbook Pro was the same one I sent. Same specs, looked good. Then I took photos of it so I can sell it on eBay again.

I did some other random things like watch a Tokyo documentary with my dad, because he was watching it and I was just sucked in as I walked by, and I ate.

Before noon Obs’ present and personal email message arrived. The message which was about both of us and the strong bond and friendship that we had, was sweet and deeply touching. I sent her a similar reply in turn and set the wallpaper she sent as both my desktop wallpaper and lockscreen wallpaper.

Then I worked more on other presents, took a shower, got dressed for the Christmas family party we were about to go to, and then we headed out. My parents had so many presents to bring, we had probably around 20 or more presents to give in total that our hands were full getting to the car.

About a quarter of the drive to the party which was an hour away, we had to turn around because we forgot the cake. We first tried some grocery stores, but they were all closed. Driving back home was the only option. We grabbed the cake and started heading back to the party, we wasted some time and gas on the drive.

When we got there the party was already booming. There were a lot of relatives who were there. I found my quiet group of cousins near my age sitting at a corner and I joined them. We talked about a lot of different things and had fun. One of them was wearing a shirt that said “Lit Buu” and it had Majin Buu on it, he got it for Christmas as a gift from another cousin. It was the sickest shirt I had ever seen and we couldn’t stop laughing at the entire concept.

It was a rave shirt. The entire shirt was filled with a pink hue of colors, and it had four large copies of Majin Buu in all four corners in the running pose making a huge excited smiling face. In the middle it said “lit buu” in all lowercase. Freaking sickest and most hilarious shirt ever created. It just made absolutely no sense. “Lit Buu.” LIT. BUU. WHAT? Anyway it was freaking awesome and hilarious.

I gave them my drone present as a gift and they were so happy. We weren’t able to turn it on at first though because of the lack of battery for the controller and we didn’t have any USB hubs to charge the drone into. We were able to get batteries from my aunt who hosted the party, but we still needed a hub to power on the drone. Later on near the end of the party, I opened my own gifts and one of them was a nice battery pack that doubled as a earbud case.

We plugged the drone into the hub for just 10 seconds because they had to leave, but with that much time the drone was able to lift off the ground and it wowed everyone who was watching.

There were a lot of events that happened and conversations that we had, but they were all pretty normal and fun. I received a fancy looking hoodie jacket made of nice material, that nice earbud case that doubled as a battery, and a 24 oz vacuum flask. Also some chocolate.

One of my cousins who forgot to get a gift said he was ordering me new Bluetooth earbuds to fit into the case. Another one wanted to gift me the game Overwatch, but I told him I didn’t play games that often anymore and I don’t think I would spend a lot of time playing Overwatch. So idk what he’ll get me now, but he said he would get me something.

After that we drove home. My parents were both passed out in the car because it was going to be a long hour drive. My dad drank a bit of alcohol and wine at the party so he appeared as if he were basically dead. On the drive home I could not help but think about death again.

I just thought about ‘last words’, and if my dad were to pass away in the car, I wouldn’t remember the last thing he said because it was about random normal stuff, not anything profound, maybe ‘I checked and it wasn’t there’ when asked about a Christmas present we left behind or something. I don’t even remember what he said.

Then I thought about my own last words. I imagined myself in old age, broadcasting out to the world through live camera feed, surrounded by people around me in my deathbed. I say my last words and then I imagined myself closing my eyes and dying. Blackness, but not existing. There wouldn’t be any black, there wouldn’t be anything. There would just be nonexistence. No more emotions, no more pain, no more memories, no more anything. People still alive would be watching my last words and think ‘and now he’s gone,’ but I wouldn’t be there to react in any way because I would never be there again. And thinking about that terrified me. A life should never be wasted. I thought a lot in that drive home.

One thought on “Journal Day 63 – Christmas”

  1. Same. But it is inevitable. Realizing that, you should live your life to its potential, don’t waste the precious few seconds that you get to live.

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