Its hard. Its even harder to exist with emotions that are full of pain and sadness. Everyday when I wake up, I fight trying to keep a smile on my face, telling everyone Im okay. Everytime I go home I lay in my bed, crushed and crying my heart out. The world does not see the swirl of emotions living inside me. All they see is the quiet, distant girl who had retreated in her shell after she was broken. I knew they dont understand and I grew tired trying to explain to them until its better to simply stop. I miss him. I long for him. I search for him everyday among the sea of faces I gazed and every minute I hate myself for feeling so defeated.