Sunday

To the Person Behind the Mirror,

I had another good day today.  We exchanged gifts, I made a really good brunch, we invited my dad out to see Star Wars, and now I’ve got Christmas dinner in the oven.  I’ve been in a good mood all day.

Husband only gave me a couple gifts but that’s okay.  I really don’t need to be spoiled.  Though I do wonder why he doesn’t do more.  I’m very easy to shop for.  I’ve told him I just like to open things so he could just get random stuff at the dollar store and I’d be excited.  I like the look on his face when I open his gifts.  He seems…nervous.  Like he is really hoping I’ll like what he got me.  It’s a side of him I don’t see often.  Vulnerable, genuine.

I’ve been thinking about someone.  Someone who hurt me, without meaning to.  Someone who doesn’t need me and decided his life would be better without me in it.  Someone who I once leaned on but had to learn how to do without.  I keep telling myself to stop thinking of him.  But I think of him at least once every day and the scars open back up all over again and I bleed like the wounds were new.  Why can’t I stop?  It’s been a year.  I don’t think he ever thinks of me anymore.

I’m okay.  I feel better today than usual.

I’ll write again.

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