I hate my body and I have a very bad relationship with food. I do this thing where I eat whatever I want one day and then eat barely anything the next I know its unhealthy and I’m trying to work through it but its hard to fix an issue that’s been a problem for so long. I try to eat healthy but then something goes wrong and I binge eat and then feel horrible about my body. I look in the mirror everyday and feel disgusted with myself. I keep a food journal and somedays I eat so much that I eat as little as possible the next day so I don’t feel like complete shit when I look at the journal at the end of the week. Yea yea I know I should love my body the way it is and all that bullshit but I don’t. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see a flat stomach and toned thick thighs and a big toned butt. I understand I have to work for it its just I have such a bad relationship with food that I don’t know how to eat to be healthy. its not that I want to be a twig I just want to be healthy and fit.