Fat girl

I hate my body and I have a very bad relationship with food. I do this thing where I eat whatever I want one day and then eat barely anything the next I know its unhealthy and I’m trying to work through it but its hard to fix an issue that’s been a problem for so long. I try to eat healthy but then something goes wrong and I binge eat and then feel horrible about my body. I look in the mirror everyday and feel disgusted with myself. I keep a food journal and somedays I eat so much that I eat as little as possible the next day so I don’t feel like complete shit when I look at the journal at the end of the week.  Yea yea I know I should love my body the way it is and all that bullshit but I don’t. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see a flat stomach and toned thick thighs and a big toned butt. I understand I have to work for it its just I have such a bad relationship with food that I don’t know how to eat to be healthy. its not that I want to be a twig I just want to be healthy and fit.

3 thoughts on “Fat girl”

  1. I understand your relationship with food all too well. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to reduce my food intake, but my days of eating terribly haven’t stopped. It seems having a healthy relationship with food takes a lot of work, and it’s something you have to be ready for.

    I have found that stress reduction techniques have probably worked the best. That, and accepting my body for what it is. I can accept that my body is a reflection of how I treat it, and what I focus on instead is treating it right. I no longer try to gain a specific look; instead, I try to achieve certain behaviors and understand that my body just needs to work. It doesn’t matter if I don’t achieve that perfect look. I’ve come to place importance on function, not features.

    It took a long time to get to this point. But I still struggle daily with my eating, and it only gets worse when I’m depressed. Good luck finding techniques to help you with your eating. I have a feeling that things like this are going to end up a feature of my journal, as well.

  2. I have the same problem as well. I used to be skinny then I gained weight and then I lost it all again two/three years ago. However, I gained it all back and it got worse this year. I was so emotional and stressed that I started craving junkfood and sweets all the time. My jeans don’t fit me anymore. My favorite finger rings are getting thigher and almost got stuck. I see myself in the mirror and all I can see is fat everywhere. But I still think I am beautiful and I know I can lose it all again.

    I know it is hard to change the way you eat and it’s going to be a hard process, but you can do it. Just keep focusing on what you want and keep yourself busy with it. I am on a keto diet program which means no carbs or at least try to keep it as low as possible. Even though I cheated many times due to Christmas dinners, I still tried to eat as much meats and greens as possible. I did not lose much weight yet but it is working for me. I lost 2kg when I was stricter on my keto diet last week but gained it back during Christmas and today I lost almost 1 kg. Maybe you should try it.

  3. Hmm… Check out my journal entry Day 27, I have a lot of before / after pics from losing 40 pounds so far in that post.

    I have a similar problem problem with food. I’m actually going to run outside tonight because I eat too much food daily. I feel so obese and fat all the time. In my latest picture Day 64 photo I look thin, but it’s all an illusion. I have a huge amount of fat everywhere that I’m trying to get rid of.

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