I knew that my journal would turn in to something like this.I just can’t finish what I start.I can’t force myself to do it.I need an inspiration.Typing down random words has no soul. It’s been a months (?) since my last post.I couldn’t bring myself back to this journal at some times even though I did have an inspiration and courage to continue my writings.I’ve got caught up in surviving.
In the mean while everything went in a bad direction my private life wise but also the whole planet is just… I don’t know, everything is so crazy.Yes there are always good things in life but no, that does not erase the bad parts to it.I never liked to rock those “pink shades”.Im sure it would help me a lot if I could,yes it might be an illusion but illusion which would get me trough each day.
I would love to continue where I last was but today my mental health isn’t the greatest even though I feel the most inspired when I am depressed or sad.It is hard to explain.I want to make a diversion today. I wanna wish all the people peace, happiness and love.I wanna wish you all prosperity.Courage (which is a must nowadays).Strong mind to support that great temples which are our bodies.May you find the peace outside and within yourself.2017.
As about me… My Christmas was fine.I’ve spent it alone for the most of the day but went to mom later on.The best part was actually seeing my mom.We didn’t have any of the fancy food or cakes but we had eachother.Even tho gas tank run out on the Christmas day and we had to be in our jackets we felt warm around our hearts (and it was not because of the jackets).
I wanted to get us one of those little Christmas desk trees you know?Well I wasn’t able to find any and the ones which I did find were bigger (none affordable) ones.The next day I managed to get us something.A tiny desk tree (really tiny,size of my palm if so) which I’ve found in a plastic bag close to the dumpster.It wasn’t inside of it so I took it.It was something.And to me it was the most prettiest tree (picture of it is posted above).That’s what’s been going on for my holidays so far.Since Christmas I’ve been home.I am not complaining… People do not get me really that much anyways…
Here I am.Alive.Physically.