5: A Year Later

 I cant believe that was me talking. I seriously changed my life and I am starting to live the life I deserve to be living. I fucking lost 73 pounds. How is that possible. Sometimes I try to understand how I even got so huge. I have a binge eating problem for sure but I really think there is more to it. Like I was never allowed to eat junk when I was a kid so once i could make my own decisions i just ballooned up. And I have been thinking more about my childhood and my parents were never people that were into activities and exercise. They didnt let me sit around and be lazy, but they themselves never went to the gym, exercised or did any actvity. I remeber my dad was on atkins once, but I dont remember too many details about that. Anyways, I am not blaming them at all. I mean they raised me and I am not a little shit head so I think they did a good job. I just have this mindset that I am not the boss or I am not in control. Others get to make decisions and I dont. I personally thin very highly of myself but I definately have that mentality that other people are experts and you dont question anything. That is definarely something that I intend to work on. I made so many resolutions/ goals for the upcoming year. The best year of my life. 

Goals: 

Run a 5k 

Run a 10K

Read 12 books: I feel like I havent been as good as a reader as i use to be. I want to get back into reading. I have so much down time especially with basketball coming up so i might as well read. Its better than watching so much dang tv. That should really be a goal for me, stop watching shitty tv.

Cut pork & beef out of my diet: This past year I have been learning so much about nutrition and trying to be a heathier person. So i feel like something i can do for myself is to stop eating beef and pork. I rarely eat it but i eat it enough to make it a goal to stop eating it. Last night i watched two documentaries about the world and how shitting of a place people and the world are becoming. And I cant stand the way animals are treated and it sickens me to see how they are killed. I love animals too much and I also want to help the enviornment. So i know i am not vegan or vegetarian, but this is a small step and i hope to reduce my carbon footprint.

Recycle: its disgusting how many water bottes chase and i use so we might as well recycle. and i feel like we will make a few bucks while helping the envirornment.

Find a fulfilling job: I have had this mindset that a job has to suck. I realize that this is not true at all. If I am doing something I enjoy it will bring me pleasure. So i am done being so negtive and I am going to do something that will help others and brings me joy. 

Post on connect daily: I need to come out of my shell a little, be more vulnerable, honest, and open. This is an easy way for me to do this. I dont know anyone on connect and everyone is always so kind. I feel good when i help others, so that is a bonus as well.

Journal 3 days a week: I mean i would like to say everyday, but that is not realistic. I want something that i can reflect back on and another way to get my thoughts out. 

Log my exercises: it helps me get motivated to keep working out and i get excited to write it down 

wear my fitbit:  i am a lazy fuck and need to start moving around more. This will motivate me. 

Anywho, I just want to have a great year. I have been doing amazingly and i just want to keep it up. I also want to be more present with my family and just truly enjoy this year. 

 

 

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