Love Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

I’m not exactly sure what my mood is today… Its 2:54 am… and Im awake. Any other night i would have been to sleep already and not thinking about the 20 different things i have constantly running through my mind.  Things will be much better once i get back to work on Wednesday and start with our normal schedule again. I love this time with Kali and i can tell she is too. She been a little clingy and need but honestly that’s just what i needed.  I come to realization more and more. Maybe she is better off with us being separated. These dysfunctions cant continue. For her sake. Its time for some major changes. I just pray i can do this. I going to have to find another job i can work at least 3 weekends a month so i can try to compensate for that income loss. Tho you would think i would easily be able to fill that since he never really helped much with bills anyhow. Sad part is. No matter what i feel at the time. I do genuinely wish the best for him and care. i don’t want to see harm come to him. or have him disappear. I just know we are like fire and gasoline. the two just don’t mix. The last time this was attempted he wouldn’t come to an agreement with me. so we could sign the papers without having to spend more money. of course he wasn’t going to go the cheap route. anyhow… We could never come to terms. Then i allowed to be lead a line of bullshit and gullibly believed it. now here we are a year later… Well to silence my rambling i’m going to call it a night. Expect the Worse and Hope for the Best…

 

Kayla Nicole.

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