It still hurts…a lot. Not so much the fact that I no longer have my husband around…well, maybe a little, I do still love him, but more that I have no one around right now. It comes in waves…a gnawing ache in my stomach. The overwhelming urge to cry, it hurts still. I know its over, it’s been over since last Easter weekend, longer than that I suppose. It still feels fresh, like a papercut to the skin.
I’m seeing a counselor, doesn’t seem to help right now. We talk about how I am feeling, my goals…stuff counselors talk about. I told her I didn’t want to cancel my cable TV because it was the only interaction I had at home. Not quite sure how she took that, hell I thought it was weird myself but I did it, money issues. She said I was a social person and needed interaction. Well, yeah, I suppose I do. I miss the closeness of a man around, I want that attention but not full time…not yet. I thought I did, but not yet.