First new year after my separation

It still hurts…a lot. Not so much the fact that I no longer have my husband around…well, maybe a little, I do still love him, but more that I have no one around right now. It comes in waves…a gnawing ache in my stomach. The overwhelming urge to cry, it hurts still. I know its over, it’s been over since last Easter weekend, longer than that I suppose. It still feels fresh, like a papercut to the skin. 

I’m seeing a counselor, doesn’t seem to help right now. We talk about how I am feeling, my goals…stuff counselors talk about. I told her I didn’t want to cancel my cable TV because it was the only interaction I had at home. Not quite sure how she took that, hell I thought it was weird myself but I did it, money issues. She said I was a social person and needed interaction. Well, yeah, I suppose I do. I miss the closeness of a man around, I want that attention but not full time…not yet. I thought I did, but not yet. 

3 thoughts on “First new year after my separation”

  1. If you truly loved the person, it will hurt for a long time. I was divorced 30 years ago after a 15 year marriage. I still love my former spouse and still have many fond thoughts. A person you truly love will always be a part of your life, however, your live can and must go on after that separation. Now is the time to concentrate on the things that you are interested in and start to build your life around those things. Things will start to come together and you will find joy and happiness in what you want and what you like. Do not look for a new relationship or try to search one out. It will happen and when it does you will be ready. That was my approach and ended in a new 26 year marriage.

  2. Thank you so much Midnight Writer, you are telling me the exact same things almost everyone else has. I was with him for 30 years, now it is difficult to see him with someone else..we both became complacent in our marriage and I strayed. I do still love him but he knows that I couldn’t go on and he chose not to either. Lots of pain still, I’m crying as I write this. The loneliness is overwhelming sometimes. I jumped onto dating sites, now I know this was wrong to do. I need to take it day by day, I know. I sincerely appreciate your advice, it helped a lot.

  3. Thank you for the kind words. I know searching for something on dating sites just after a breakup do not work. My former wife did just that. She got involved with a person that did not really commit to her and she went through a lot of pain while with him. I had no interest in dating and due to my employment at the time did not have the time to look into that possibility. Without looking and without any desire to look, a woman entered my life. She was divorced with two small adopted girls. We started seeing each other and got married. Our marriage lasted for 26 marvelous years and death was the only thing that separated us.

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