Day 11- scattered

January 2, 2017

Today was better … I had a wonderful day with my husband. We got to hangout, go out to lunch and spend a date day. This hasn’t happened for a while. He’s been doing so good, with everything going on in my life sickness and such he’s been so supportive. My baseline is irritability … I’m snippy, easily frustrated and emotional. He has been my rock that I sometimes take forgratted. My last entry made him sound awful. As a wrap up he did come back spend time and spent time with me. We played games and went to bed happier than when I wrote my entry. 

I just can’t seem to handle the emotional path I’m on. I’m just irritable all the time. Now as someone who works in psych, with all the stress, recent loss, etc my opinion can me an on set of depression. No I don’t want to call it that but it could be. I cry multiple times a day but I feel like I’m content sometimes. Semi functional depression? I go to work, clean just barely feel productive thru the day. 

I don’t know I choose not to label myself. I can’t label myself. 

What is going on with me, I can’t even think. I have no thought process right now. I cont to feel scattered and with nothing to tell or say but I feel so much. I guess just enjoy that I had a good day today. 

Tasha Out😘

2 thoughts on “Day 11- scattered”

  1. You are definitely experiencing depression. The thing with depression is that you do not have depressed thoughts or feelings all the time. You will experience times when you want to do nothing more than sit in a dark room away from everything and other times when you want to be around people but be unable to interact with them. When not depressed, you will be more normal and interact with the people around you. The thing to do is enjoy the periods when depression is not a major factor and try to expand on those to push depression further and further away. Let the people around you know that you suffer from depression. When depression strikes, depending on the degree, we are not always able to express our feelings or needs. Express those things as best as you can when not influenced by depression. Focus on the good and minimize the bad. Depression is not something we can take on and overcome alone. Seek some type of counseling to aid in understanding and controlling your depression. From what you have written, it seems that you are aware of what is going on in your life and have periods when depression does not control you. Take advantage of those and look for the victories to come.

  2. The previous comment is very good. I don’t think I have anything to add except that you remember God is with you and loves you even when you are most depressed. Especially then. Lean on Him. Hugs.

Leave a Comment: