Well, I made some resolutions this New Years that I was very serious about but things aren’t going so great already. I made a resolution that I was going to give up some bad habits of mine this year, mainly drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, but I’m off to a bad start. The beer I want to quit because it’s beating me up anymore. The day after I drink I just feel out of it. I only usually drink a six-pack at home while I’m watching a movie or something, but still it’s just taking its toll on me more and more. I admit, sometimes the damn voices have driven me to drink. In the very beginning in fact, I’d say that beer helped me to escape a bit from the worst of it, but I just feel that I can’t keep going with it.
I know that I’m at a point now where I can handle the voices. On most days, they are just confined to the background so to speak. Sure, I still have a bad spell every once and a while, but when this happens I simply slug through it and weather it out. I know now that these rough times will pass, that things will calm down once more. That is the big difference between now and when this situation first started for me.
Back in the very beginning, when things were at their utter worse, I didn’t know or even believe that things would get any better. That’s when I was really down the rabbit hole. But now, I know that with time the attack of these negative earthbound spirits eventually wears off to a large degree. In a way, they hit us like a virus that can completely knock us on our ass for a while, but with time we do eventually start to develop a natural immunity to them.
The same goes for smoking cigarettes. With all of the anxiety that I was experiencing for a while as a result of this situation with the voices, let’s just say that I smoked a lot of cigarettes. But, I also feel that this is now taking quite a toll on my health. I just know that if I give these two bad habits up for good, then I’ll feel a lot healthier. These were my New Years resolutions but I’m off to a late start. Ok, in truth I haven’t even started yet. I just got hit with some bullshit so far, at my job and then the heating in my condo broke down and then some money issues, etc… I’m still committed to making these personal changes. I guess I’m just waiting for a break in the storm clouds of everyday life.