Love and War

How can you love someone so much, then within ONE LITERAL SECOND, HATE them with all the rage you can muster? The love is SO strong, and so real, but SO toxic. All the hurt, anger, complete “care-less attitude” comes rushing back so quickly I can’t even control it. I am EXHAUSTED of trying to convince myself we belong together and that I trust you enough to continue this. When I made my vows to you they were VERY serious and very real, but little did I know how nonchalantly you took them. Little did I know just how many lies and hurtful acts you had done to tarnish this relationship. You manipulated and lied so much I don’t even know what trust looks like with you. We can have a week of good days and that ONE bad day makes me HATE you with everything I have. With a rage I have never had and it scares me that I can’t control. I just, need a new start. Even though it might kill us both to end this, I have to take that chance because this will kill me regardless.

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