we all go through things differently and i don’t know why some people have a hard time understanding that. For example, i had surgery in august on my tail bone and since then it still has not fully healed due to “complications” and i get INTENSE pain when i sit or walk for long periods of time and it seems like people don’t see it that way. My marching band is going away to Disney down in flordia about 10 days from now and everyone is excited and i would be too, but i had to ask for a refund on the trip for me because i can’t do all that walking and one of the other members gave me a dirty look when i was explaining this to one of my very supportive friends. I just feel that the rest of the band thinks im babying it when in reality im going to all these different doctors who aren’t helping and on top of that after a week of down time (when i should of had 2 but couldn’t due to band and school) i was up and moving just as fast as before. an infection is brewing right on top of my nerves so when the pain hits i need to lay down because it is noticable that i hurt and i have gotten told that i might want to tone down how much i’m milking it/faking it because after months it gets annoying when really i just need to lay down. but i am far to shy to tell them that the need to experiance this and all its complications before mouthing off to me they aren’t staying awake all hours of the night crying in pain unable to find pain killers in the dark because if you sit up you will lose your lunch. they aren’t having what feels like every doctor under the sun looking at their tailbone region trying to figure out whats wrong only to tell you it looks good, i’m healing slowly and they don’t know why i hurt. they just don’t know what it’s like to watch your family suffer becasue they know you hurt, and they can’t do a damn thing about it. seeing pain in your mother’s eyes hurts more than all of this to me, knowing that my mother thinks she is the worst parent in the world because she did what she thought was best for me hurts. having to put on a brave face is harder than people think and when it is to your own mother, the one person who is always there hating herself because of it kills me more than any of the physical pain.