Two months ago my entire spectrum of hobbies included drinking, having sex, taking drugs, sleeping, coffee, takeaways, more booze… more sex!
I was full of self hatred and shame. My mind was very damaged. My mind is still damaged.. but instead of poisoning my mind with substances I am working hard at fixing myself.
I am a far cry away from where I want to be in life. There is so much I want to achieve, so many things I want to do. Two months ago before I stopped drinking I didn’t really think about the future, I didn’t care much for life. Alcohol was my life, I thought it made me happy. Infact I believed alcohol to be a magical potion, I could be anywhere with anyone… so long as I was under alcohols influence I was not alone. Alcohol was my best friend.
The poisonous best friend who stabbed me in the back! Alcohol told me so many lies
“you will never be happy without me”
“I am the reason you have friends”
“Men don’t find you attractive without me”
“I am the best thing that ever happened to you”
Alcohol constantly fed me with lies and I was blinded. Blinded to the fact that alcohol was stealing everything I possessed. Money, my looks, my health, my self respect, others respect for me, my time and more importantly than any factor alcohol was stealing my mind.
I am beginning to see life through new eyes. It’s not all fun and glory, at the moment my head is all over the place. One minute I am happily slurping mocktails and taking pictures of pretty scenery, the next I’m crying me eyes out to depressing music. I’m trying to be kind to myself, I know I won’t be like this forever, my mind is adjusting.
People may say sober life is boring… but I am confident that sober life is going to bring me a beautiful peaceful life