Though my condition with hearing these voices is much improved, there are still times when I’m around strong background noises that I hear these voices quite strong. For example, it’s winter now, where I live there’s snow and ice on the ground at the moment, so whenever I’m driving in my car I have to crank the heater up. It’s either that or freeze my ass off. Whenever I turn on the heater in my car, the voices emerge from the noise. Perhaps it’s the close proximity that I’m forced to be in to this sound, but this is one of the times when I hear the voices the strongest, even to this day.
I’ve often had trouble explaining this to people who just tell me that my mind is looking for patterns in the noise (against my conscious will). But, it’s not like that. These voices often jump out of the noise so they aren’t going with the flow of the noise per say, they are emerging from the noise. I suppose if one has never experienced something like this, then it’s probably hard for them to understand.
For the most part though, I’m not hearing the voices coming through practically every noise I hear anymore. That’s how it was for me back during the first few months of this situation and it was a total nightmare. Things are much improved now from those days. I often wonder though, if I were to run off and live someplace very secluded and live very simply without a lot of noisy appliances and such, if being away from all of the various noises that I hear on a daily basis would speed up my recovery from whatever it is I did to my hearing back when I was experimenting with EVP for that brief time.
Though, as I’ve written about before, often when I’m in complete silence, that’s when I’ll hear the voices as well. When I’m in total silence, this is when the voices are much fainter. Often, I’ll hear them as whispery voices. Sometimes, they’ll seem to come in real close to one of my ears and I’ll still hear them as a fainter voice, but there’s a sharpness to the voice that makes it more audible to me.
Well, I just have to manage for now. Sometimes I just can’t avoid being around these noises that seem to enhance the voices. I mean, I’m not about to freeze my ass off while I’m driving just because I don’t want to hear “them” and the bullshit talk they throw at me. If I start doing that sort of thing, then I’m giving in to them and I need to be taking more of my life back from them. That’s what it all comes down to.