I want to know why you suddenly stopped caring for me. Why you stopped calling me several times a day. Why you haven’t said anything about missing me or wanting to see me again. Why you stopped hinting at wanting a relationship. Why you suddenly took your affection away. Are you giving it to somebody else, Nick? Somebody who lives right where you do and it’s all a matter of convenience to you, even though I can care for you and love you like nobody ever has?

That’s all I want. Somebody to love me in ways that I can never love myself. The little pink pills have been working their ugly magic. I’m now at 133.8 lb, and I still feel huge. Maybe when I am hollow, and clean on the inside and lighter than air and rail-thin, maybe THEN somebody will love me. 

2 thoughts on “Unloved.”

  1. Dear Erika, I’m amazed to note that you and I are the exact same weight. I’m short, too which makes it seem like more. Honey, don’t try to starve yourself or be thin as a straw; you can ruin your health that way. I was anorexic when I was younger. It was a terrible thing to battle. Don’t let your weight become an idol. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you as well.” God know what will be a healthy weight for you. If you are taller than 5′ the weight you are is probably perfect. Yes, you are lovable; that is the message of the Bible. “For God so loved YOU that He sent his only Son, that whosoever would believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Good life here on earth and perfect life in Heaven later. I wish you all the best, dear girl!

  2. You don’t have to be thin for someone to love you. The right person will love you no matter what and it’s the inside that counts. You just have to be patience and the right person will eventually come in your life. The world is full of surprises so don’t lose hope. Wishing you the best.

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