Jan 6, 2017

I wish I at least knew why I don’t have friends really.  Only a few months ago I had several people I texted just about daily.  One I noticed only texted me back so I stopped texting her first.  Haven’t heard from her in a month.  A while ago she had believed some misinformation about me and it looked like I was lying about something important.  I explained and showed proof that I wasn’t lying and she claimed to have believed me but I don’t think she did.  Things weren’t the same.

Another idk what happened.  She blocked me on fb and never answered my texts again.  Just out of the blue.

Another just stopped texting.  Another idk why.

I do text one person daily but it is really just a hi every morning.  I just went through my contacts list and really that is it.  What is wrong with me??  I try to be a good friend.  I listen and try not to talk about myself too much and I try not to complain.  Yet.  I’ve got nobody.  And it isn’t like I live in a small town where the potential friends pool has been the same all my life.  I’ve lived all over and am in a very large city right now.  I get out a lot and talk to people.  Yet… for some reason I repulse people.  I wish I knew why.  

I thought I would be okay with my books and my school and my knitting.  But I am so very lonely.  I can’t stand the loneliness.  I’ve called my spouse 3x in the past 2 hours (he’s overseas for work for another few months) just because I’m so lonely.  My text ringtone is the same as a notification from fb on my phone and every time I hear it my heart jumps because I am hoping somebody likes me enough to want to talk to me.  But I am always disappointed.  

One thought on “Jan 6, 2017”

  1. There are a number of reasons why someone will not talk to you, block you, not respond to your messages or whatever. First and foremost is that they don’t want to discuss the topics that you might want to discuss. In you post you say that you listen and try not to talk about yourself “to much”. The first thing to do is look at your messages to them. How often to you send someone a message? What is contained in that message? Are you asking them about them or are you describing how you are feeling, what you are doing, your opinion on something?
    Many times we spend all our time talking about what we want to talk about without even realizing it.
    You also say that you have one person you text every day. Even a text just to say hi can be an annoyance to some people.
    You would also want to look at the times you are sending these texts, It is when this person is in class, work, dinner or other regular activities. You said you called your husband 3x in a two hour span. Were these calls when he was working? sleeping? involved in other activities?
    If you keep loosing friends there is a reason for it and often that reason is correctable if we are willing to discover the problem and take the steps necessary to correct it.
    Also, try talking to someone who you feel will give you honest answers and ask them if they believe there is a problem with your relationship. If a person is willing to be honest you can learn a lot from them.

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