So, my scale thinks I am 133.5 this morning and while I think that would be awesome, I don’t believe it. I’m pretty sure I’ll go back up to 135.5 tomorrow. Which isn’t nothing; I have lost 20 pounds since meeting my husband. Not that I’ve been losing weight consistently for four and half years (well I have been losing it but I’ve also been gaining it) I was 154 in March so all of this weight loss has been relatively recent. It’s funny to me though: I’m going back and reading some of the things when I was in the 150s and I still feel the same way. I have the same struggle and unhealthy relationship with food, I still feel fat, I still feel I need to lose more. Years back when I started losing weight I picked 125–This is back when I weighed 200 pounds and lost weight by starving myself and purging. I’m finally close to that goal and I still feel if I reach it it won’t be enough. 

2 thoughts on “Weight”

  1. It’s time to adjust your mindset. You have done a remarkable job of loosing weight and keeping it off. Two or three pounds up or down is normal. It’s long term weight that is important. You are still seeing yourself at 200 pounds so no matter how much weight you loose it will not be enough. Take a good long hard look in the mirror and see what you truly look like and implant that image in your mind. The difference between 135 and 125 is not as great as between 125 and 200. Look at the way you are and not the way you were.

  2. You lost all that weight! Wow! I’m so proud of you! Our church is doing a fast for 3 weeks and so maybe I’ll lose a few. It’s not a total fast; I think it is fruit, veggies and water. I am intimidated by this idea. But determined to do it. I bet you are beautiful and just can’t see it that way. Anorexia is so sneaky. You’ve don’t a great job! Be happy, be moderate and enjoy it!! Hugs!

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