So, my scale thinks I am 133.5 this morning and while I think that would be awesome, I don’t believe it. I’m pretty sure I’ll go back up to 135.5 tomorrow. Which isn’t nothing; I have lost 20 pounds since meeting my husband. Not that I’ve been losing weight consistently for four and half years (well I have been losing it but I’ve also been gaining it) I was 154 in March so all of this weight loss has been relatively recent. It’s funny to me though: I’m going back and reading some of the things when I was in the 150s and I still feel the same way. I have the same struggle and unhealthy relationship with food, I still feel fat, I still feel I need to lose more. Years back when I started losing weight I picked 125–This is back when I weighed 200 pounds and lost weight by starving myself and purging. I’m finally close to that goal and I still feel if I reach it it won’t be enough.