I’ve already written about this in my journal but I just needed to get some more of it out of my system. I just feel stupid for being so blind. Like, I feel like no guy is REALLY just not wanting a relationship. There is usually something going on. I was thinking about how he said that he bought her birthday presents and Christmas gifts, but then he asked me to buy him something in Florida without him getting me, a friend, anything. Not that I expected anything. He didn’t thank me for bring snacks or coming over or keeping him company or listening to his stupid sob story that he had been hiding from me. I’m just mad at the situation; that I really liked him and he had been seeing someone else, someone he shit talked when we first met, someone he knew was already crazy about him. Like, I’ve been doubting my own relationship because I thought Drew and I would connect more than Wes and I do yet I’ve been betting on a player basically. The bright side is that the way I’ve been acting toward Drew and talking to him, it’s like I’ve friend zoned him anyway and I’ve made it clear I’m not interested. We didn’t have sex last night even though we slept in the same bed. I didn’t want to have sex knowing he would probably be back with the other chick next week. It’s just fucking annoying how I’ve been lied to and led on. I do my fair sharing of that shit, but that I don’t do it to hurt people. In my mind, I’m testing the waters with people because I don’t want to find out I chose someone I’m not meant to be with. I’m happy last night happened with Drew, because now I have absolutely no feelings for him and honestly I don’t even like him as a friend anymore. I needed to let go of it so Wes and I can move foward.