Monday January 9th

I am such a mess right now. My shit is all over the place. I have the storage unit, Bethany’s jeep, my classroom, and Deedra’s house. I forgot my phone this morning. Living like a vagabond is driving me insane. I couldn’t find my keys this morning, not I have left my phone. I don’t know how I’m going to do this for two more weeks. I know some people live like a mess all the time, but it is so hard for me. Also, I have a splitting headache that started in the night and is still going. I took advil in the night and that didn’t touch it. This morning, I have taken 4 advil, 1 migraine pill, and 1/2 a Xanax, and it is still hurting, but has subsided to a degree. 

My phone number is supposed to change to the 212 number today. I can’t do it, though until I have the fucking phone in my possession. I started thinking yesterday about how amazing it will be to be back in a place of my own, where all my stuff is and I am organized again. This is stressing me the fuck out.

Later, that same day…

I am feeling much better now. I got my TB skin test read and got my phone both during my planning. Tomorrow, I need to get those things I sold packaged and shipped. I had my last instructional leadership meeting today. My boss doesn’t even look at me. I really don’t care. He has been a huge disappointment. He is so far in over his head, it’s not even funny. 

Chris from HVA contacted me about a demo lesson and interview there. AND, Democracy Prep also contacted me, which surprised me a little. I was not on my A game when I was on the phone with the girl because Brent was waiting on me in the driveway to take me to the airport and I was trying to grab all my stuff together since I wasn’t ready. That is the school that promises a laptop and iphone and 150k after 8 years there. 

I had a really weird dream last night. We were renovating a house, and the person I was with switched between Brent and Edward. And when it was Edward, we weren’t actually officially together because he was still married, but was supposedly leaving her for me but hadn’t. So weird. 

Yesterday and this morning I was so frazzled I was regretting my decision to do all this. I was just feeling so tired and fed up with being such a mess. I’m better now. 

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