I find myself to be a very fortunate, blessed woman. All the time I hear / read about people searching so desparately for true love. I don’t have to search. It is easy for me. True love is at this very moment quietly snoring an arms length away. I can even pause from writing this very paragraph, lean over him, and kiss him gently on his cheek. He won’t even wake up. I’d like to think this gesture influences his dreams.
He isn’t my “other half”. You know why not? I am a WHOLE person. I exist without him. He doesn’t complete me. I complete myself. There is flat out nothing that I receive from him that adds to who I am. If he stopped loving me tomorrow it would suck, but I would not waste my energy trying to force him to love me.
I look out for myself first and above all else. Sounds selfish, huh? That’s alright. I can live knowing that I care about myself. I can live knowing my own worth. I can not expect some one to love me if I think that I am unworthy of my own love. So you say selfish maybe… I say independent.
My true love compliments who I am as a person. It’s the whip cream on my strawberry shortshake. I want him to know that I give love AND receive love. I don’t want our time spent together always being a way for him to butter up my mood. I want to be the very essence of a good mood.
When my true love is with me I act like a silly idiot. I’m always joking around and being a goof ball. We laugh and laugh at our antics. I want my true love to know his worth. Messages sent silently within objects like a new sweatshirt or a dinner plate in the fridge. I want him to know I am strong. When he accidently hurts my feelings, I take the time to be alone, to work it out, to not fixate on the slights and the mishaps.
My true love and I once came to the point where we separated. We focused on our own personal growth. We took the time to figure out what we really wanted to do with our lives. If our agendas didn’t mesh, we were okay with saying goodbye. We listened to what was lacking. We turned lead into gold.