I have been slacking on keep up with this journal! It’s something new to me so give me some time :). Ok I just want to start off by saying that my mom and I haven’t been on the best terms lately. My mom has always been my best friend and I never thought I would see the day to where we are not speaking. However, we had some disagreements over a month ago and haven’t really spoke to each other in until Monday, which was 3 days ago. I love my mother to death but I just couldn’t deal with her always pointing out the negatives in my life and never uplift me for the positive things I do. Like I got custody of my sisters son who was in foster care because her rights are terminated. However, I have a niece that is still in foster care because I don’t have a big enough home. I have 3 girls of my own plus a nice and a nephew in my home that I have custody of and 3 step kids. I just don’t have room for another child, plus she has some issues that I cant deal with at the moment. I thought my mom would be happen that one child is out of the system but noooooo I am wrong for choosing one over the other!! She said Dezerae will grow up to hate and a lot more nonsense! In the past I always took her negativity and let it go in one ear and out the other and would never say anything or stand up for myself. I finally said what i had to say and she didn’t like it so she basically turned her back on me. So a couple days ago I decided to reach out to her and apologize for what I have done or said to hurt her because it just didn’t feel right not having her on the other end of the phone, or going to see her when I was in her town. I also kept having bad dreams that something was going to happen to her and there is no way I could handle something like that. My oldest daughter who is 7 had been missing her also. She wrote me a note and left it on the dinner table for me to see before I went to work that morning and it read “mom you are the best mom a kid could ever ask for. Can you call nanna and ask her if me and Derrick could come over and spend some time with her because we know she will be going to Heaven soon and we want to make good memories with her. if you could please ask her before you wake us up to leave” MANNN that brought tears to my eyes and plus her health isn’t the greatest. The not she wrote was also shaped like a cross that she cut out. Sometimes you could say hurtful things and never get the chance to say your sorry, and I don’t know about yall, but I could not live with myself if I had never got the chance to make up with my mom. The moral of this story is that there is to much hate in this world, and life is most definitely to short to fight or argue with the ones you love because you may not get the chance to love on them again.
Hope yall found this TRUE story useful, and I hope some of you make it right with the ones you know because you never know when it will be to late.
Have a Great Day
<3 Brittney Adams