Not a punk

Family members seem to think I am some punk. Their bitch. Personal whooping girl. My 18 year old daughter seems to think she can talk a load of shit and I will still cater to her. She is not perfect. I fucked up with that one bad.

Had her at 19. I wasn’t ready to be a mom. Her dad was a cheating POS. I left him when she was 6 months and moved back in with my parents. I came from a good family. I went out and did my thing while my mom and sister spoiled the kid. I hooked up with another loser. Moved out. Lost my job due to trying to please him. Letting him control MY car, MY life. I have poor decision making skills. I lived out in the Bay Area. You can’t survive without making 40k a year and you squeak by with that. Ended up homeless. Like, I could have gone back to the parents but pride. You know how that goes. Homeless with a kid. It wasn’t bad….just different. We stayed in shelters. She still got normal life at my parents. We just slept in a church.  I did few stays in the nuthouse. Drs got me to file for disability. I get it. Get a place. Still with this loser. He does several jail and prison stays. I get pregnant and have a boy with him. He met him when he was 2 months old. Went back to prison 4 months later. I’m done. Goodbye. My roomate is also a good friend of mine that I have been in love with for 15 years. This is my current loser. Alcoholic (recovery for 2 years now) foster kid with the communication and emotional skills of a potato. He’s a piece of work. Slowly becoming human. Runs a militant house. Back to my daughter. They have always had a funny relationship. Not like funny uncle, fuck no.. just he likes to pick on kids in a joking manner (for him)  and she doesn’t take shit. He stepped in when she was 9. We leave CA. Move to a couple different states over 3 years, have a couple more boys. Land in SW Missouri. Love it here. Bought a little farm. My daughter has enough of the drinking… we all did, she just was free to walk away. She got a place of her own at 16. I helped with rent when she didn’t have it. My kid, my responsibility. She would still be home if it wasn’t for this Nazi drunk. 

He gets busted on his 3rd DWI. Forced him to get sober! 2 years total. 5 months with no court monitoring. He is bei g productive. Bought a house for the kid to rent in the city, better job opportunities, close to downtown, bus system, and the college. She becomes a stripper. More power to her. With becoming a stripper comes xanax, alcohol, coke…. this is all back story to my rant. 

We are under a winter weather advisory, ice storms. Like, this place could look like something out of Frozen at the drop of a hat. Her BF is an MMA fighter and has a fight tonight. She has asked me several times, presumably loaded, if I can give her a ride. My answer was so long as the roads are safe. This was my answer the first 4 fucking times she asked, or slurred I should say. Yesterday was rough. I am sick. Been coughing all night. Throat is on fire. She calls ans asks for the 5th time. I repeat myself….again. This bitch….she tells me to lower my voice and stop yelling. I start yelling. Let her know what it sounds like. She laughs and tells me I’m being childish. 

Find your own ride. 

I’m not your floor mat. 

One thought on “Not a punk”

  1. Thanks Purple!
    My life is honestly awesome! There are these things though that I just need to vent about. I don’t have many people that I am close to in this little town I live in. I have a couple of FB friends who constantly spew their drama and it just seems…tacky? I don’t know. For some reason, venting to strangers feels better. I can get it out and call it good.

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